So first a little brief back story. My sons father owes me £1,500 total so far I'm unpaid maintenance. This payment was built up due to him leaving one job, and starting at a new job and ONLY telling the maintenance service he left a job. He without the information of the new job he was going to until he was investigated 8 months later.
He then paid maintenance for around 3 months and quick his job due to the fees being too much money (so he rather have no money at all I guess 🤷🏻♀️). He lives at home, pays a little house keep, has no car or untilities to pay for, but does have debt for all of his materialistic bullshit he buys because he loves living outside of his means and looking like he has more money than he does. The moment he has to pay for something that's a priority his excuse is "I can't" but then shows off his new mac book, shoes, holidays, VR headset and more.
He then refused to help towards school uniform UNLESS he could go out with our son and his gf to buy school shoes despite me telling him countless times I had already got the shoes. So ultimately I had to turn this useless offer down.
Fast forward. I found out about the new job and raised an investigation with the child maintenance service. They attempted 2 deductions of earnings orders which both failed. They contacted him and his employer multiple times to no avail and ended up using info from the DWP to track him income. This took them 7 months! So another 7 months of backdated maintenance was added to these arrears bringing up to our grand total.
He clearly didn't like that he had to start paying again and that he been found out because low and behold THREE WEEKS later he was magically unemployed again.
With the living crisis we are in I'm slowly starting to need this money and support from my sons father but trying my best not to discuss money with him as he only knows how to push my buttons anyway.
I'm wondering what others would do I'm my situation?
My first thought is fro ask him is he will pick our son up from school 2 days a week and have him for dinner so I can possibly work a couple evenings and not have to worry about dinner 2 nights a week. And to bring him home before bedtime. Just a couple hours after school.
Even tho I know he will say no I need to do or say something so I can prove to myself I tried and offered him something more.
Please give me advice and suggestions but please be kind this is a 6 year long battle.