BD moved away

[anon990]

Hi this might be quite long sorry in advance. I was in a relationship for 2 years and we have a 5 month old son. We did up a house together and lived there but he cheated on me and everything went downhill, his family were terrible to me and changed the locks of that house with all my stuff still inside. My child's father emigrated when my son was 2 months old and is living what appears to be his best life. He sends money and sporadically will FaceTime. His family have not seen our son since they changed the locks on the house 2.5 months ago and they won't either I despise them. They basically supported their son through every wrong doing he did even booking his flights for him and made out I was the bad person the whole time. I begged them to have a relationship with my son and asked all the time for them to see him but was met with excuses, I have them blocked on everything now. I just find it really hard to get over the situation and am constantly thinking of my ex even after everything he's done and now not even living here. He says he'll buy a house abroad and live there forever which pains me as he will eventually have a new family see them everyday but not my son? We were happy to have this baby and he was over the moon as it seemed when he was born. It's all so draining and upsetting for me and obviously will be for our son when he's old enough to understand. I feel like I can't move past the situation and heal. He obviously does not have any love for me anymore or never did but he turned out to be someone I could never have imagined him ever leaving his son. Does anyone have advice? I feel shit all the time over being a single mum ( I have loads of support from my family ) but not having a family which I thought I would have and not having his other grandparents invovled in his life.

You need to focus your energy on the things you can actually control i.e. being a good mum to your little boy. You say you have a good support network, so make the most of that. You can't do anything about your own ex and his family, so let it go. Your DS will only be upset about any of this when he's older if he sees from you that it's something to be upset about. Otherwise, it'll just be all he knows.

How did his family change the locks on your home?

Forget his family . When my ex and I split up neither his parents nor his siblings had any further contact with our DC . Their loss .
You cannot force anyone to have contact with your child . It’s hard but you need to move on .
Puzzled about the lock changing ?

It was technically my ex's dads house. We did it up together and lived in it. When my ex emigrated I continued to go back and forth between their and my parents. One day I texted his mom to stay hey I'm staying back tomoro evening see u then. She said see u then knowing it had been done, got there and boom locks are changed. They opened the door on a Saturday to let me get my stuff out and I haven't seen them since. His mother screamed into my face that day they changed the locks as I confronted her about why that had been done after she had told me to continue back and she screamed at me and slammed the door in my face. It's funny how they were so excited for my baby and helped so much and claimed to care so much in the beginning but when the realtionship didn't work out everything was my fault

My eldest is 24 , she has had no contact with my exes family for 19 years , she hasn’t had contact with him for the same amount of time . She never really mentions them as others have said , you can’t force people to be interested in a child . It was a very hostile split , due to his infidelity, and they took his side .