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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ridiculously self-indulgent topic but anyone else stuck in the same situation?

53 replies

Justtwosecondspoppet · 11/03/2008 12:17

I've got a dd (4) and have been on my own with her from 4 months. Have been incredibly broody ever since having her and the older she gets the worse it becomes. Have been single now for nearly 4 years-there is nothing inherently wrong with me I don't think-am slim, normal height, behave (unless dd winds me up too much!!) have two arms and legs and have nice house and job, but no one seems to want me! Or if they do they want me for the house and the job and hate/can't cope with dd.
I so desperatly want another dc, but want to try and do it properly, i.e., have a stable relationship, live with the dp/dh, get dd totally comforable with the set up etc, but I can't see any baby resolution for at least 5 years in that case, providing I meet someone (!?!), and so feel it would be v unfair on her as the age gap would be far too great. Has this ever happened to anyone and worked?

OP posts:

piratecat · 12/03/2008 13:04

bah

IdreamofClooney · 12/03/2008 13:52

I could have written your OP!

It is hard being on your own and feeling broody. All of the friends I met who have children the same aga as DS have now had a second or are pregnant.

I am so broody and love babies and really hope that I will get another chance.

At the moment I am too exhuasted to even consider "getting out there" and finding myself a man so my chance is slim!

I find working, running a house and looking after DS pretty hard going and dooubt I would cope if I were to end up a single parent to more than one but people do it.

We can all just live in hope!

FloraPosteschild · 12/03/2008 14:13

piratecat · 12/03/2008 14:36

lifts jumper like woman on advert

FloraPosteschild · 12/03/2008 14:49

Lostdad - we're having a meet up tonight if you are really nearby.
Only three of us going so we need to make up the numbers! It's be nice to see you there or anyone else in the area who is around

Kewcumber · 12/03/2008 14:54

but that woman in the advert was wearing a bra... doesn't that seem a bit tame? Is any man that turned on by a glimpse of grey sagging bra?

lostdad · 12/03/2008 15:15

Argh - busy tonight, but if there is something else coming up, I may well take you up on the offer....

FloraPosteschild · 12/03/2008 16:13

I think it was a blue bra, actually...

Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 12/03/2008 22:49

Hurrah! Thank goodness it isn't just me you lovely people! Sorry I haven't posted back earlier-it's one of those weeks this week! So there ARE actually men out there willing to take on children, hurrah! Any friends I have with children that have separated have found guys literally within weeks, and I mean so quickly it is unbelievable, and so I was worried that it was my third, and maybe even my fourth, arm was putting the guys off! I have plenty of time, I'm still in my twenties, but it still niggles that older mummies with much less stable finances and jobs, more children, husband still in tow as it is on/off or they haven't decided whether to divorce or give it another go, and many mamy more neurosis and issues than me have guys hanging off them, it is so maddening! I think I'll get a puppy instead-I don't have to get it as much juice and don't need a stable household! He he! But saying that, I'm not too far from Devon! xx

OP posts:

thornrose · 12/03/2008 23:01

This I needed to hear! Ive been single mum for last 7 years and would love another child but age is not on my side, I'm 41 and the age gap between siblings would be strange.
I've just about resigned myself to having just one child and possibly no man ever but get flashes of "its not too late"!

thornrose · 12/03/2008 23:04

Single, broody and a thread killer, oh and old

Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 12:01

You're not a thread killer, or too old, my mum had her first at 45, and that was "back in the day!". Def not too old

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 12:30

damn, I was deliberately holding off posting to allow thornrose to be a thread killer!

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 12:33

on the "will I ever have another partner" I take the view that I won;t and I get on with my life accordingly and do what I want. Its not that I actually think I will never have anotehr partner but I think if you assume to will be partnered up again shortly, you run the risk of a) hooking up with anyone just for the sake of not being alone or b) die having not had a fulfilled life whilst waiting for Mr Good-enough.

Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 12:47

Sorry kew, didn't mean to wreck it for you . I get fed up of cleaning gross boxers anyway, and cleaning for three when one is perfectly capable of doing it himself! I prefer to feel sorry for those poor souls trampled by the laziness of their dp/dh. But then again, my bed is cold and it feels weird if I stroke my hair myself!!

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 12:58

lol at stroking your own hair. Ds has just started insisting on brushing y hair - it brings tears to my eyes (and not for good reasons!)

MascaraOHara · 13/03/2008 13:00

same situation, no resolution

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 13:01

ah now mascara - thats not lurking, is it!

MascaraOHara · 13/03/2008 13:08

I'm not here, am just being a lurky lurker to see what's panning out as I'm so broody but have sort of resigned myself to not having any more children. dd is 5 and I'm nearly 30

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 13:14

you youngster bugger off and start worrying in 10 yrs

Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:19

He he he x

OP posts:

Baffy · 13/03/2008 13:22

Just to add my two pence worth

My mum was 23 when she had me. Split with my dad. Spent a few years alone etc. She then met my step dad, but didn't have my sister until I was aged 13!!

My sister is the most wonderful gorgeous person I have ever met. I was a mini mum to her when she was growing up. Loved looking after her and protecting her. Would do anything for her. We were inseperable. Still are.

She's now 17, just turning into a beautiful young woman, and I'm 30. We now have a great 'adult' relationship. We have a few drinks together and a good laugh. We share our stories and secrets. She's now like a second mum to my ds, who adores her. (Plus she has much more patience and much more time to play with him than I do!)

Not to mention, she's just about to take her driving test so she's soon be picking me up/dropping me off and generally re-paying the taxi service I've given her for the past 13 years!

I guess my point is don't think/worry too much.

I have a 2 year old ds and have recently split with my H after 14 years together.

I would love love love another child.

But I know that will happen when the time is right

MascaraOHara · 13/03/2008 13:22

lol, I want to get married. I had also estimated about 5 years but will I really want to start all ove with a baby when dd is 10?? and that's assuming the next person I meet is Mr Right (unlikely)

Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 13/03/2008 13:35

Exactly! He he!

OP posts:

Baffy · 13/03/2008 16:32

Stop being so negative you lot!!

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