Parental responsibility order- experiences?

[Unexpectedlysinglemum]

Does anyone have experiences of the father of their dc applying for a court order for parental responsibility?

I didn't put my ex on the birth certificate for various reasons and I don't trust him and don't want him to have that control over me/ability to kidnap our baby legally.

He has recently asked if he can go on the birth certificate again and I have said no not yet, he is bringing things up like saying it's a safety risk as if he's looking after him he wouldn't be able to give consent for emergency medical treatment (obviously untrue). We are also mid dispute about him driving the baby (he's a very unsafe driver). So I think a court order application might be coming.

Can people share their experiences of this? Do they always give parental responsibility to the father? Even if there are safety concerns? What circumstances do or don't they?

Yes he will be added to the birth certificate after a process involving a DNA test. Just as if you were unsafe with your child - you wouldn’t lose parental responsibility unless children’s services remove the child from your care. It should be the same for him and will be if his order is successful.

I have experience from over 20 years ago, but doubt much has changed legally.
DS2s dad wasnt on the birth certificate, he didnt want me to go through with the pregnancy, so we split when i was pregnant.
When DS was 1, his 'dad' decided to take me to court for PR and a contact order, he represented himself (which meant he got away with a lot), luckily i got legal aid and wonderful support from my local WA.

He'd never paid maintenance, had a Cocaine habit and was abusive, but charmed the CAFCASS women, who not only misquoted me countless times in her report, but sat with him before we went into court.
He got PR (i'm afraid they do unless theres a really extreme reason) and of course contact was given regardless of how it effected the main carer (me) emotionally, Luckily in my case i managed to negotiate it on my terms.

Basically its a long hard journey, your feelings dont come into it, as its totally based on your child.. i.e if hes an unsafe driver, you'd have to provide proof, and i'm guessing hes not driving while being disqualified, so it'll be just your word which is irrelevant.

I'm sorry to be so negative, but be strong, stay calm and work within the system (not against it) to secure some form of damage limitation, iyswim.
Good luck!

@Missiing @Jellykat thank you for replying! I am balancing not trying to annoy him too much so that he just goes to court vs not putting my baby in unsafe situations that he wants to do.. obviously the safety is the priority but I am
Realising not that him not being on the birth certificate isn't the safety net I'd hoped it would be !

Unfortunately it isn’t. He will achieve parental responsibility and then will gain access if he fights through courts. If you don’t think he is keeping dc safe then you will have to have evidence and fight as he could even ask for up to 50/50 contact and once dc is in his care it would then be up to him what he does for that 50/50.

Thank you @Missiing my post 'my ex DP burnt my baby' explains more about how unsafe he is but apart from the burn there's not much evidence. At the moment he's been taking baby to children's center stay and play which works very well as I don't have to see him and it's a safe place - I just want things to stay as they are for now :-(

(So I am giving him access in a safe way as I know baby has a right to relationship with his father)