Difficult ex and struggling with the reality of not being able to have another baby

[Amylouise9]

Hi everyone, well where to start really. So I have a 2 almost 3 year old boy he is my absolute world me and his dad split up almost 2 years ago. He has moved on plenty he’s having twins with another girl which he’s now split from but he’s so difficult with me. He won’t look after our son just visits on occasion his words “stops you going on dates and moving on” he’s forever threatening he’ll do something if he finds out I’m with someone so I just find it easier being on my own but deep down it’s bugging me the fact I really want more children and I do want to find my person I don’t want to be alone forever. I always said I didn’t want to have any children after 30 and that clock is approaching very fast so now I’m also trying to come to terms with the fact I won’t be having anymore children. I just don’t know where to start to come to terms with it. I literally cry at adverts about pregnancies atm it’s just such a struggle.

He sounds like a psychopath and you need to get both you and your kid away from him. It’s good he doesn’t want to look after the child, and it’s best he never sees them again.

Your rule about not having children after 30 is nuts, and suggests you aren’t actually serious about wanting more.

If he is threatening you, talk to Women's Aid for advice, but also speak to the police. You could get a restraining order, and if he breaks that, eventually he will get the message or end up in prison.

The whole thing about not having babies after 30 is a bit odd though because it really is a lot easier.

If you want to go out OP, you can. Ask a friend or relative to babysit for you. They'd be a far safer bet than your ex who sounds hideous.

He is awful aNd abusive. I hope
You find someone new and he'll just have to get over it. Agree with others to get support if you're worried.

Your rule about 30 is dumb. What if you get pregnant at 29 and 9 months 😂

Remember he is an ex. He doesn't have any power over you.

Do you have any friends or family that could watch your child every now and then so you can get out?

He is an ex. He cannot dictate that you're not allowed to move on.

What is your ex threatening exactly? If it is a threat to you or to DCs safety I would agree with others that you need to call the police or womens aid. If not and you're still going to have contact with him so that he can see DC, control it a bit more as at the moment your ex is controlling you. Don't let him pop round, have someone else with you during planned visits and only discuss your son, not your personal life. I get why you are upset about the idea you might never have another baby but I honestly think you'll feel better if you deal with your lowlife ex.

I think you are allowing him to tbh, I mean couldn’t you just use family or friends, failing that a babysitter? You don’t have to tell him anything! And the 30 rule hmmm

Why no more children after 30? If its a health thing, children aren't at greater risk of abnormalities until a much later maternal age. Or is it that you want to be done raising kids by a certain age?

Your giving him way too much power. A jealous man who knocks women up then leaves them, thinks he can also tell you that you can't move on? And your accepting it? Umm no. This is your life. You do what you want with it!!! If your listening to him because your actually genuinely scared of him thoug, that's another story and definitely agree with ringing womens aid

What's ex like as a father? You need to get a court order in place. Are you receiving child maintenance for your DC?

He doesn’t get that power . If he wants to see Ds he takes out or meet in public place - soft places are perfect he has to play with Ds.

only discuss Ds nothing about your self . Take back the power .