Baby dad and his family turning against me, advice?

[Babygirlmum]

Cut a very long story short, me and my ex partner, my daughters farther, have been through a rollercoaster over the past year and a half, our daughter is one, he left me when I was pregnant, he is back in our daughter life, however I have recently lost both my parents in a short period of time, my mum just three weeks ago and my dad 14 weeks ago, my ex partner and his family had my daughter while I was going through the worst time of my life, they even invited me to stay over, they where being very supportive and I really appreciated it and felt comfort from this, me and my daughters dad was going to try and give it another go, since leaving they have all turned on me, they have basically uninvited me on a holiday they invited me and our daughter on as a family, they are being very strange with me, they are going through court which has been going ahead for a while, however we have been co parenting very very well since my ex applied for the court, he now has everything he wants with our daughter, he has been having her very often, let me add its long distance, I have asked for her back on a date in which his mum has message me and said if you want hey you're going to have to come and get her on the train, I haven't got a car at the minute and they know this, my ex drives and so does his parents, I feel like they are trying to make it hard for me, I am really struggling at the moment, they have all turned on me and his mum has been very blunt with me, since I asked for her back as I want to spend Halloween with her, my ex is now messaging about court and it's really getting me down, I have enough going on, I have just buried my mum two weeks ago, I'm really having a hard time and I feel as though they are abusing my vulnerability, me and my daughters dad where getting on really well, now he won't even speak to me, I'm left really confused and hurt by this, I don't know what to think.

Don’t want to post and run. I think you need to be very wary of these people. They have used this dark time in your life to stake a claim to your child and they do not have your best interests at heart. Realize that they want your baby and her father is never going to be a real partner again—he might play nice, he might make promises, but he and his family want access or control of the baby. They don’t care about you.

@pikkumyy77 I really do think you're very much right, every last thing you said, I feel, and that really hurts how they could do that to me.

Isn't Op also trying to stake a claim in her child's life? Why is it wrong or bad for a parent to 'stake a claim' in their own child's life?

If neither OP or the father want access - who cares for the baby? Why would it be wrong for parents to want access to their own child?

It is okay for one parent to want their child but not the other?

OP if you are co-parenting very well, why did your ex have to apply to the court to get access? I am not clear on what happened there but typically both parents should get shared access without needing to go to court. Something has happened that has upset them if they want from supportive to not supportive - do you have an idea what changed their feelings?

I wouldn't message his mom. Deal directly with your child's father.

Because a man who abandons his pregnant partner during the pregnancy doesn’t get awarded parent of the year points having failed with basic humanity.

@saffronsoup so basically the court is from previous, when was struggling co parenting at first, as I had a lot of trauma as he left when I was pregnant and did not want to be a dad to DD, u never kept him from seeing DD, it was just not co distant, however now he sees her on a regular basis, she stays over like he wants her to, everything was fine, without going into to much detail,my ex and I have previously slept together, and his mother asked if we did and apparently she wasn't happy, we are two adults and can do as we please, however his mother wasn't to pleased with that, she has not been the same with me since I went home, and either has he, I am very confused and what have I done wrong, we was trying to be a happy, he promised to be supportive and then wouldn't speak to me

Don’t sleep with your ex. You can be fuck buddies with anyone you want as an adult, of course, but you are setting yourself and your child up for heartbreak if you think that you can let this useless ex be a part time lover as well as a part time father.

Move on emotionally. Its the best thing to do. He will when it suits him (as he should, snd you should too).

@pikkumyy77 I know, I feel stupid, I feel used by him, and that he's took advantage of my vulnerability, and he was using me as nothing has come of it, he acts like he really wants a family together, I am feeling very confused with the whole situation, his mum has really gotten into his head and I have no idea why.

Its a mistake to blame his mum for this. It will lead you to make more mistakes. People always do what they want. He choses to use you for sex. He choses to use words and sex to get you to do what he wants. He does not fight for you. Or take care of you and the baby. You are there for his needs. And he does what he wants.

Back up, take a deep breath, and believe his actions not his sometimes flattering or cozening statements. Whatever he promises or implies just shrug and say “prove it:actions speak louder than words .” That is a good way station to telling him to fuck off and just pay his child support and take his time with baby while you have your own life..