Hi all
Would love to hear thoughts and experiences similar to mine with CSA / Child Maintenance. Solo mum of a teen, for over a decade, but with financial ties to ex until about 5 years ago.
Due to backdrop of DV I am cautious about sharing details. However:
Ex has fingers in many business pies, basically, he is reporting under £15k income through his accountant to HMRC. Some business assets transferred to new wife. It’s not too far a leap to see that home expenses (car, uk and European travel / hols, home decoration, whatever) are not exactly included in his income as noted to HMRC. It’s a small businessman’s accounting trick – this has been going on for about 5 years.
I spoke to Child Maintenance / CSA with the full details and they said variation around diverted income was clear. I’m concerned that If I go down this route this will start up more DV type issues – harassment from family etc – as has done before. I asked him to just consider the conversation about it, all I got back was how it was my fault for asking for CSA to intervene in the first place (& shout shout shout).
I’m not overly interested in the money, just the fairness of it. In general I have enough income (professional role) to support my teen & I’m not saying his dad never contributes to things like clothes & school needs, but I've taken the brunt for the last 5 years & I’m obviously very stretched at the moment like everyone. I’ve have had to take some time out of FT work (about 6 months) due to health, which is pretty sorted now.
It is mainly frustrating that the teen has to keep asking dad for additional stuff, when it’s clear there’s things that are not really above board. I find it embarrassing to talk about or to try and work through, as it’s easy to take the sexist and damaging words about women wanting cash to heart. It’s taken me 5 years of being frustrated by the accountancy dubiousness to have the conversation with CM/CSA so that says something.
Without going into future detail here, I’m keen to connect with anyone who’s been in a similar situation, how you approached / are approaching it, and any thoughts?
Thanks :)