Left narcissist 18 months ago

[lydsim25]

Hello...
I hope someone can shed light for me / help me
I'll try make this short...
I was with a narcissist 7 years almost.
We had 1 son together.
The emotional abuse was awful. It took me SO long to leave. Although he was awful, I loved him dearly.

I finally broke free with help from women's aid and we have a court order he doesn't stick to but I don't care.

Anyway... I'm over 18 months away from him. Women's aid helped me move out of my home town (45 mins away) with my children 6 months ago.
It's been really hard to leave friends & family.
Although I drive, it's still a massive change.
All the kids (3 of them) had to move school etc. honestly it's been so emotional.

I'm free and I've lived my life since the break up so to speak, however I feel so lonely.
I break down & cry all the time.
I've been signed off for severe PTSD for now.
I find myself counting down the hours till the kids get in from school.

Has anyone been through this? Should I be back to normal after 18 months?

I have my mum to speak to on the phone but she's never around me in person. I don't have any friends. I lost many people due to narcissist.

I hate it when my baby boy has to go to his dads but it's out of my control. I'm just very emotional. I live with a lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach.
I've seen GP done it all. :(
Xxxx

18 months to recover from 7 years of abuse isn't long really.

My advice is don't fall down the trap of seeking a new partner to help you feel less lonely. I did that and it was just a string of further abuse relationships.

Maybe it's just time but I found the best thing to move on from abuse was getting on and keeping busy while deciding to stay single not wallowing on how unfair it was my life was ruined while his wasn't. I worked a lot and as my kids were younger did a lot of toddler groups. Volunteer at church made a big group of friends there. One of my kids is high needs SEN so as he got older I had less time to be anything but cater for him anyway. But that first couple years it was being busy that made it manageable. And thinking about all I had! My ex made me work to pay bills etc but never enough that we were anything other than poor because he took my money. I did all housework cooking and had to cook what he likes etc etc. Being in control of my life eating and wearing what I wanted and having a house that stayed sort of tidy as no man child there was awesome and having my money was a great help