I am a lone parent to a 14 yo son (I also have an adult son).
I work full time.
He is a keen footballer and plays for a team. Matches are Sundays either home or away (up to 2hrs drive away).
I am a competitive runner and often race on Sundays.
No problem so far, if a game and a race clash I am able to arrange a lift for DS (though I do like to support him). He used to play for a team who played on Saturdays so there were no clashes.
We also have season tickets for a Championship football team so him playing on a Sunday now means we are able to go to more matches to support our team.
That's the situation.
The issue is that many of his team mates also play for a Saturday league and when DS has raised the possibility of him joining another team I've ruled it out straight away.
There is only so much I am willing to do. As well as all the house stuff that needs to be done at the w/e, we have other things I'd like us to do, like visit family, go away or just have some down time.
I have voiced my opinion; that I'm not willing to give up my whole w/e to enable him to play football both days. It came up today and he started to tell me which of his mates play both Sat and Sun and I said that I knew they were from 2 parent families and that one parent works part time.
But it's got me wondering, am I being selfish? Are there parents who enable their children to do their sports or other hobbies, at the expense of their own interests or extended family?
I've been a lone parent for a while and only in the last couple of years have I been able to leave DS home alone so I can race again. When he was much younger I took him along to races, but there has been a few years when he didn't want to do that, but was too young to leave. I'm finally able to do it again and I love it. Not just the racing, but being with my club mates. It's important to me. He knows this and I do think he respects that at 53 I am very fit and love my sport.
I know guilt is a waste of time and I do think I'm confident in my decision, but it's got me wondering to what degree parents sacrifice their own interests for their children.