Ex not talking. what would you do?

[madameMscastle]

My youngest has just been picked up for normal weekend contact.

Eldest has college near Exs so he was in the car and he was the one that knocked on the door to collect youngest. They were late picking youngest up and when eldest came in the house he said to youngest hurry up we are going away for the weekend.

The issue is that i collect on Sunday and its 30mins away so i make plans to be in the area on days i have to collect.
Ive heard nothing about not collecting on Sunday, but as ex doesnt talk to me i dont expect to.

My other issue is that my eldest 16 normally tells me what his dad says. He enjoys the telling me whats happening as he feels grown up. When i question Ex about him being the communication he says hes old enough and i should stop treating him like a child.

So if i do get a text on Sunday it will be from eldest saying they are close to the house.

So do i cancel my plans on Sunday as i think they might drop off on Sunday on the way back?
Or keep plans and expect to messed about on Sunday?

I hate no knowing and ex knows i wont want the kids being messed about so the thought of ex dropping the kids off and im not there. i dont want to think about it.
But also the idea that i have to cancel plans because ex cant talk to me make me angry as I had to pleasant to him for the kids sake but he just doesnt care.

It's a bit ridiculous that you communicate through your 16 year old to be honest. Could the 16 year old not have a key and he trusted to let himself and the youngest in?

You and your ex simply need to communicate directly if the drop off plan needs to be changed. This is a ridiculous situation.

I don't understand why you can't text your eldest now and get him to confirm what the arrangements are for Sunday with his dad.

Keep your Sunday plans.

My ex fucked me around with shit like this for years - was a control thing. Don't be in, and message your ex to say so.

Please, please don't put your ds in the middle of this.

16 year has a key but has not took it with him.

Its hard when ex and ds16 gang up on me.

I cant make ex text me and he uses 16ds and ds doesnt see it. Then it causes trouble for me and ds16.

Just tell Ds unless he lets you know you won’t be home till …. I have a safe place I put the key if my Ds has forgotten it . Do you have somewhere or even someone locally you can do that ?

Take the reins and tell them don’t ask

its controlling behaviour by both of them

text the ex - you haven’t replied or communicated with me about Sunday - I expect x back at …… pm. As you won’t communicate and x hasn’t got his key - please drop him back home with me at the above time

send it to both of them

Oh and get a key safe

You can't make your ex communicate with you, it's a two way thing.

However I wouldn't be letting the ignorant, immature fucker rule my life either. Tell your ds that you won't be home til x time on Sunday and to relay that to his father. If they are back before then he has the option of letting himself in or staying with dad until you return.

I can see why this is stressful and does rather take the enjoyment out of your plans cos you'll be worrying about what time they are getting back. But this is a situation of your exes doing so please don't let it control your life and plans. Do what you initially planned and just give them the information they need to work around it.

Tell your ds that you will collect them at normal time on Sunday from their dad house as usual.

Enjoy your weekend. Leave a key. Seems ex is training your eldest to make you feel like shit also. I would be nipping that in the bud Sunday night..