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Original poster

Coparenting 6 week old baby struggles

11 replies

LD233 · 21/09/2023 20:54

Just looking for some advice. I have a 6 week nearly 7 week old baby and I'm having issues with his father.
Me and his father split when I was 16 weeks pregnant where he cheated on me and left me for his ex girlfriend who he's now in a relationship with who he already has another son with.

He was seeing him regularly to start with even though its been so difficult for me after how much he's hurt me however he's cancelled quite a few times on him already and is trying to say he will have him some weekends and he wants to take my baby away - he lives 40 miles away.
I said no he's way too young and he needs regular consistent visits at his home which my mom is facilitating as he's still a newborn baby!

He said he will do what he wants with him in his time and he will be taking him everytime he sees him
I don't trust this person as he has lied to me so so much and I dont want my son separated from me especially 40 miles away!

He's cancelled next weekend seeing our son as he's booked a weekend away wirh his girlfriend also.

He said he's not a newborn anymore so he can go with him (he's 7 weeks old on Saturday!)

He said if not he won't be seeing him as he's not seeing him here anymore.
I am struggling so much doing this on my own and he's trying to demand its his way or no way

I just don't know what to do anymore I'm stuck. I already know I won't have a social life much as he is inconsistent already and refuses to have him here if I want to go out.

I am struggling with post partunmdepression and this situation is making me feel 10 times worse. Also struggle seeing him or speaking to him after whar he's put me through. My head is a complete mess and I feel like a failure the way my mental health is declining

OP posts:
Malificent1 · 21/09/2023 20:58

Stop replying, stop communicating. You’ve told him your (very reasonable) terms. Stop chasing him and leave him to disappear. Make sure you’re claiming maintenance from him.

I’m sorry he treated you so badly 💐

Malificent1 · 21/09/2023 20:59

Also, if you don’t want to cut him off dead, set up an email address for only him and ask your mum to communicate with him re visits.

Original poster
LD233 · 21/09/2023 21:32

Malificent1 · 21/09/2023 20:58

Stop replying, stop communicating. You’ve told him your (very reasonable) terms. Stop chasing him and leave him to disappear. Make sure you’re claiming maintenance from him.

I’m sorry he treated you so badly 💐

Thank you. He has blocked me now anyway after an argument today. Stressful is an understatement

OP posts:
minipeony · 21/09/2023 21:35

That's not coparenting that's him being a selfish arse.

Are you breastfeeding at all? Not a problem if not just how is he planning on feeding baby.

HowcanIhelp123 · 21/09/2023 22:20

He is being unreasonable. State he is welcome to visit baby at yours but he will not be taking him, rinse and repeat. If that means he doesn't see him so be it.

Did you put him on the birth certificate? If so he has equal rights to you. If you allow him to see baby with another person facilitating that doesn't have parental responsibility then he would have every right to take the baby and even refuse to return baby to you. Police wouldn't get involved, you'd have to go to court to get baby back. Not trying to scare you, just if its a risk it may be better letting him fade out of own accord or go through legal channels so you have it in writing baby lives with you. They won't mandate a 2 month old baby should be removed from its primary caregiver.

Original poster
LD233 · 21/09/2023 22:28

HowcanIhelp123 · 21/09/2023 22:20

He is being unreasonable. State he is welcome to visit baby at yours but he will not be taking him, rinse and repeat. If that means he doesn't see him so be it.

Did you put him on the birth certificate? If so he has equal rights to you. If you allow him to see baby with another person facilitating that doesn't have parental responsibility then he would have every right to take the baby and even refuse to return baby to you. Police wouldn't get involved, you'd have to go to court to get baby back. Not trying to scare you, just if its a risk it may be better letting him fade out of own accord or go through legal channels so you have it in writing baby lives with you. They won't mandate a 2 month old baby should be removed from its primary caregiver.

Hello thank you. No he is not on the birth certificate for the reason being i do not trust him

OP posts:
Original poster
LD233 · 21/09/2023 22:28

minipeony · 21/09/2023 21:35

That's not coparenting that's him being a selfish arse.

Are you breastfeeding at all? Not a problem if not just how is he planning on feeding baby.

It is. I'm not breastfeeding no unfortunately

OP posts:
dirtygertie22 · 21/09/2023 22:30

He sounds like a selfish immature twat. Your ds is probably better without his influence. Don't allow him to tell you what he's doing with your baby. Is he on the birth certificate?

LookingForPurpose · 21/09/2023 22:36

Let him fade into oblivion. This man was never going to coparent with you, your child is not losing a good parent, you are saving them an entire childhood of let down, empty promises and heart ache. Yes raising a baby alone is hard but sadly you had a baby with a man that turned out to be a total loser. In your shoes I would stay well away from him and absolutely DO NOT contact him.

Original poster
LD233 · 21/09/2023 22:38

dirtygertie22 · 21/09/2023 22:30

He sounds like a selfish immature twat. Your ds is probably better without his influence. Don't allow him to tell you what he's doing with your baby. Is he on the birth certificate?

He's not going in the birth certificate I have a date to register him and not putting him on there

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright2 · 22/09/2023 10:19

Make sure baby has your surname ..

I am guessing they are playing happily families for now … remember their relationship broke down so may well again .

grey rock him .. He is looking to prove you are been unreasonable - victim and all .. probably g/f doesn’t want him near you as she knows he isn’t faithful .

Don’t waste energy on him . Focus on your baby .

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