He's really pushing it now

[birky]

Spoke to my solicitor today who was received a letter from his solicitor. He claims that I am stalking him. Apparently I drive up and down his street at least twice a day, get out of my car to walk around his car and then drive away. I also drive up and down his friends street - even though I don't know where his friend now lives!!!!

Am so angry, was fuming at work.

He rang me last night saying he wants to keep things civil and get on for the sake of our DD and yet he makes false allegations like that. The guy has serious issues. He's a compulsive liar too.

Have now told my solicitor there will be no further contact for him with DD. His behaviour is becoming so weird and erratic I can't risk leaving her with him. I've said that his mum can have contact on the grounds that it is when he is at work and if I find out that they lie about him working, I'll withdraw that contact too. There is no way I'm letting him see DD when he's like this, I'm terrified that he'd snatch her or something.

I've told his mum that I want no further contact with him except for when he collects his belongings from my home otherwise I'll take an injunction out on him.

Can't believe he's doing this to me. He speaks to me like we haven't just come out of a 3 year relationship, goes on about how wonderfully happy he is with his new life blah blah blah

That means his new life aint that happy, birky, and if he's titting you about like this, that's another sign he's not happy - no matter what his flabby gob is spouting at you.

He's been on the phone tonight saying he went out friday and some 'beautiful' girl went n started chatting to him n they're now seeing each other and shes bought him something for his birthday saturday and shes so wonderful and amazing and perfect.

Fat tub of lard

I refuse to waste a single penny of my money buying him a birthday card from DD. He probably won't even notice anyway

My ex did the same sort of thing I've met such and such blah blah blah, its just a way of trying to get into your head and control your feelings. Try your best not to let it get to you I know its hard. Im so sorry you are still getting all this hassle from him.

goodness what a fantasist, I recon he believes his own stories aswell

Hi Birky
This is fairly typical behaviour from my experience and what I've gleaned from others on this site.

He will use whatever opportunity he can to mess you about and annoy you. It must be hard to be civil with him but, obviously, you must try, for dd's sake. Your xp will most likely, eventually, secure formal access with your dd, if he wants to, so it is best to keep conflict to a minimum.

All the same, I would have as little to do with him as possible and keep conversations to the absolute minimum - and just monotone civility - hard to do but it achieves the best results. If he can't behave himself in the short term, I can understand that you want to protect dd. The fact that you are allowing his mother to have contact will show that you are trying to do the right thing.

If he tries to tell you a load of rubbish about his 'wonderful new life', I would let him know that you are not in the least bit interested and would like to stick to the subject in hand which is dd. He just wants to wind you up but it is a shock because it is not that long ago that you had feelings for this guy. It is all just about his ego.

My xp also accused me of harrassing him (I phoned him a few times about dd and about child maintenance). It is just a way of controlling you. He was also in a 'very serious relationship' shortly after we split up. Like my relationship with him (also supposedly the love of his life), it didn't last and, AFAIK, he is single.

He was ringing my mobile and landline at 12:10am this morning just kept stopping his calls.

I really cannot believe he's being like this. Had a text from his mum saying she's been to her solicitor and has grandparents rights but Ive already told her I'm happy for her to have access.

I don't have anything against DD seeing him in principle, I just don't feel comfortable with it at present because of his erratic behaviour and i wouldn't feel ok leaving her with him while I went to work cos I have doubts as to whether I'd get her back