Costs to raise two teens

[Pearlyb]

How much are you spending on average on two teens per month? Ex is questioning whether my expenses are reasonable or not - this is my outgoings averaged our for per month:

Food at home - 250
School lunches - 120
Transport- 140
Clothes (incl. Uniforms) - 100
Toiletries and healthcare - 50
Hobbies - 40
Utilities (heating, phones, water) - 70

Does this sound OK? What do you spend? More or less?

The only thing I would question is $100 a month in clothes that seems a lot! Everything else seems fair is he being a twat in regards to maintenance?

Hard to say. If I didn't have them I could pay for a room in a shared house which would be half what I pay in rent and would include bills. I probably wouldn't have multiple streaming services, or pay for Spotify family.

But if we ignore those and look at direct costs
Food/toiletries... dunno. Maybe 300. Might be less
Phones £35 between them.

I buy clothes when they need them. Nowhere near £100 per month. Occasionally need bus fare so maybe £10. We walk most places.

They don't have any other regular costs that aren't part of my household bills. Partly because I can't afford it.

Thanks- yes looking for direct costs only (ex has to finance his own bigger place as children stay there too, so I don't feel it's right I use money from him to pay for bigger place as he needs to finance this already at his end, if that makes sense).

Clothing costs are high because I average annual costs - uniform for each child comes to an average 30 per month, so that's 60 gone out of the total and 40 left per month for "non-uniform" clothes.

Just trying to figure out what is fair! Ty

Is anything I actually think that's a bit low! What about pocket money? Travel?

In that case, I'd say those costs are fair. The clothing still seems high to me, but not unusual based on others I know.

Thanks @MillicentTrilbyHiggins - I'll think about the clothing costs.

@justanothermanicm0nday transport is about 140 per month. Pocket money is a good point! That's about 60 all together (they get as and when needed, not a regular contribution)

Have you missed things like gifts for friends birthdays?

Hobbies / gym £60
Phones. £50
School lunches. £60
Food at home. £250
Fuel / bus fares. £180
Clothes. £60
Utilities. £50
Pocket money. £80

And then what feels like a million additional ad-hoc expenses like school trips.

Your costs don't seem high to me. Why are you having to justify your outgoings to your ex?

Clothes and food a bit high. You already have school lunches in there so the £500 is for breakfast and dinner for two? I know prices have gone up but we feed a family of 4 for £600 a month. Also clothes, I would say half that is more realistic but best way is to access actual costs from the past year via bank statements and see.

I’d say your costs look about right.

However your ex has no right to be questioning your outgoings. The maintenance he pays should be proportionate to their wage. It’s not to split the costs 50:50, it’s to provide a lifestyle commensurate with the family standard of living. If he earns more he should give more and you’d be able to provide more for them, in terms of extra curricular stuff, holidays, driving lessons etc.

Thanks - I should have added that the costs I detailed are for two teens (so 125 each for food at home; 60 each for school lunches per month, and so on). And also should have added that ex has the kids 1.5 days per week, and half holidays. Sorry to drip feed!

We have a family based arrangement and we don't use CMS, and we handle money based on what the children cost. So that's why he is questioning how much I'm paying towards everything for the children.

I'd say we also pay around £600 for food overall to feed 4, and while I don't calculate exactly what share is for the children I think 250 is about right.

Good point about school friends gifts, will add a bit for incidentals! We go halves on school trips separately so that's outside of the calculations.

What about school trips ?

if they are teens revision guides / stationary

look through your bank accounts and look at what you are spending - I pay for better Wi-Fi for my teen

have you included footwear ?

I probably spend on my teen...

Food (this includes toiletries) - 200

School lunches - 60

Travel is free where we live

Clothes - 100 maybe a bit more each year generally would buy...

Summer sliders £25
Trainers x 2 £160
Football boots £100
Uniform £235 including shoes
General other clothes plus winter coat £500

Phone - 34

Pocket money (£20 a week) and odd bits for food - £100

Hobbies - £25

School costs - £5pm on school fund plus odd trips can be £50- a few hundred a year as and when