fuzzy.. I feel like that. There don't seem to be any real feelings there for him at all. I don't want to see him hurting, I just want him to get on with his life & 'forget' about me. How long have you been split?
allgone..Why did we split? So many reasons going on over so many years. I always felt he put his mates before his family, even before ds1 was born (he is now 6.5). The last 17 days of my pregnancy he was out with mates. It pretty much went on from there. HIs mates would call him, and he'd jump, be straight round there, yet if I wnated him to do something, it would be moaning and may finally get done 2 months later when I pretty much forced him to do it.
He used to drink a lot. He would be out probably 4 nights a week, and quite often during the day if he had a 'spare' 1/2 hour.
He smoked a lot of weed, basically as someone else would smoke normal fags. He got us into a huge amount of debt over it. He also used to skin up in front of the boys, which as you can imagine I hated. I'd tell him not to do it, he'd do it outside for a day or two, then be back in the front room skinning up.
The spending money was a huge problem obviously.
We never did anything together, whether that be as a couple or as a family. He has no family down here to babysit, and my parents couldn't babysit cos of my dads working hours and my mum doesn't drive. He would never let any friends babysit either, so we never had a life as a couple which probably put a huge strain on things. As he wanted to spend his day off with his mates we never went for days out as a family, not even to the beach which is a 10 min walk away!
I had my bags packed on a few occasions, but promises to spend time with us & another occasion where he took ds1 from me and physically wouldn't let me have him, and I didn't want to upset ds1 anymore so stayed. He doesn't remember any of this though, thinks it all came out of the blue.
Ultimately, I ended up cheating on him. I know I was wrong to do that, I didn't do it to get at him, or even see it as a way out. It was an escape for a few hours a couple of times a week.
Even when he found out, he still wanted to make it work, but I really didn't, and in the end the affair did become my excuse to leave. It ended finally after a bad day of toing & froing, and he came back to the house, slammed the front door on me, scared the hell out of the boys and gave me a kicking. I know he regrets the violence, but thinks that that night is my sole reason for not taking him back.