New to board....advice needed please

[debsidoo]

Hi,

I'm 22 weeks pregnant & having a hell of a time with ex, I was with him for years & we split up just b4 I found out about the pregnancy to be with another woman with 2 kids to her fiance. He then decided he wanted us but changed his mind again thinking she would not want him with a baby on the way.
I work with all of them in a very large office so work is hard, about a month ago my ex told me nothing was happening between them no more, he then texted me every day & made the effort & I found out she was back with her fiance getting on with there lives (she has done this a number of times for attention) & she obviously had no intention of leaving him in the first place as everyone told me.
So I let my ex come to the scan & we were trying to be friends for the babies sake but since this she has realised we have been getting on & told him again that she loves him & wants to be with him, she is still with her fiance & looks very happy to me.

I just don't know what I can do or where I can turn for advice as he keeps moving the goal posts, I wanted him to be a part of it's life but do not want her to ever see my baby (Can I do this?) What if I name him on the birth certificate? What if I don't? Does he have rights?
He has never once offered me a penny to help get things the baby needs before it arrives & I had a scare & he never texted to find out how we was....

I just feel so alone & hurt as we was getting along until she has decided to mess with his head again, what can I do next?

Hi debsidoo, this woman sounds like an absolute cow and a spoilt brat, Your ex needs to wise up to her quick! Seems like she's out to get attention, sounds like she's jelous of you hun! Hope you and your ex come to some arrangement for bumps sake, chin up

Oh poor you, what an awful situation to be in. However, congratulations on being 22 wks pregnant. I take it this is your 1st child to this man?

Ok, so you broke up before you realised you were pg...The fact that you're carrying his baby doesn't seem to have had much of an effect on him? He changes his mind depending on what she's up to? I think you'd be better off alone right from day one rather than have this moron rule your head any more!

I have a 6wk old daughter to a one night stand. (I worked with him too!) I knew things wouldnt work with him, so i decided to go it alone. I didnt want to try it, then have the baby get used to him being around etc.
Although he does have contact, i didnt name him on the birth certificate. From Dec last year, the laws changed regarding unmarried fathers. If you name him, he has the same parental rights & responsibilities as the mother. He is recognised in law as the father & has the same rights as if he were married to you! If that's not what you want, id leave him off. You can add him on at any time with no hassle.

Hope this is of some help. Hungry baby calling.....

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Hi,

Thanks for the words of advice, I just don't know what to do, my head is in bits at the minute.
Yeah this is my first child & it's the most important thing right now in my life anyway! I just can't wait till it arrives, it will be so much easier having it here but I know with the arrival there will be a lot of problems too. He seems to think that when the baby is born he will see it a few times a week & that we will be friends. I don't mind him having his say but I don't want him picking up my baby & playing happy families with her & my child, I never thought if they get married that they could have rights if I named him!

Anyway I spoke to him earlier as I can't believe he hasn't been in touch to see if everything is ok after the scare. He told me that she has left her partner over the weekend & it will take time but they will be together & be happy. He even had the cheek to tell me that it is me that is causing the baby stress as I'm letting it bother me & that I am a physco as I keep mentioning her! I just don't know which way to turn & he has me believing that by calling him I am a physco as I was bothering him... when does it get easier?

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