It's been 8 years and still I find myself no further forward. I try to block it out and just focus on myself and DS but every few months ex decides he wants a new type of child arrangement (no court orders) I agree to try and keep peace but it goes from wanting DS 3 nights a week then a week later he can't keep it up so every week he's missing the days he asked for meaning I'm scrambling around for childcare whilst I work and get such disrespect from him as though he's mad at me for him not being able to manage this. Then it goes to the other extreme of wanting him every other weekend conveniently over summer holidays because he needs social time. Then Christmas / Easter / Birthdays come and of course wants 50/50 over that one week of special events and I get the whole it's not fair he's my kid once again I agree despite the constant let downs / poor effort throughout the year. I just can't deal with the inconsistency. Just picks and chooses really and cancels last minute. Stuff such as uniform / school bags never get returned even when I ask so I'm constantly replacing things. I'm so organised with everything but it's hard when someone is constantly undoing all that and creating such chaos. Son doesn't want to go much anymore. I daren't say anything because I honestly can't handle the blatant delusion he has that he does so much and way more than most dads. His reference to 'most dads' is they choose to never see their kids. I'm fed up DS is fed up. Just selfishness really what suits him is what we then all have to cater to surely we should be doing what's best for DS.