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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Making friends

18 replies

Scramble · 01/03/2008 21:26

Ok how do I make more friends or get more friendly with people I know?

I know the old ones about going to night classes and all that but I have too much on with the kids activities to comit to a regular class. I just want pals that I can ask to go for a drink if I happen to get a night where the kids are at their grannies and I am not working.

I know a few other mums through the kids activities but don't know them well enough to go for a drink, they all find it hard to get sitters anyway I suspect, even hinting at coffees through the day hasn't had any luck.

I am getting to know a few people through work a bit better (big effort to be more sociable at work), but don't really know them that well and any I would perhaps ask to go out all work weekend evenings. Plus they are all in different towns so would have to work out how to get home if I have a drink.

I am pretty crap at this aren't I

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wiggleit · 01/03/2008 21:34

Hi scramble, yes it can be quite difficult to make new friends, I'm trying too but for different reasons. I'm married and my husband has good friends around here where we live because it's an area he's known for a while but for me ot is a whole new territory and am struggling getting friendly with the locals although i have to say i have made friends with a couple of women through my husband. I really sympathise, you'll just have to keep on at it and eventually someone will take you up on that coffee and that may lead to other things? Where do you live?

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beansmum · 01/03/2008 21:35

it is sooooooo hard isn't it?
I found that once ds had proper friends I got to know their mums through going out together to softplay, the park etc.
just be brave and ask instead of hinting about things like coffee. Saying that I don't think I would even hint! I just wait for people to invite me

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beansmum · 01/03/2008 21:37

probably why I have no friends!

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goingbonkers · 01/03/2008 21:38

I think you just need to be brave, bite the bullet and ask outright. No more hinting at coffee...When my DD was born, I got chatting to someone at the baby clinic and just asked her if she wanted to go for a coffee. I did this with another new mum the next week, then introduced them to eachother. We've all been friends for 3 yrs now and although we don't see eachother often (as we all work diff days), we managed an overnight stay at the seaside last year, and are going to center parcs together next weekend!!

I have also made friends through going to the park. Get chatting to the mum pushing the swing next to yours etc and ask for numbers if you hit it off.

Try to be yourself and be confident.

Alternatively, try gingerbread and see if they have a lone parent group near you?? I haven't personally tried this but have heard good things about them.

And if all else fails - we'll be your friends!! xx

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wiggleit · 01/03/2008 21:45

Too right goingbonkers,, we'll be scramble's friends. It is hard work though isn't it? I've made a friend through my DD by inviting her friend around for tea after school and then when she gets picked up we got chatting etc. It took a couple of attempts but now we are friends. But i've always had lots of friends and feel a bit isolated because we have moved to a different area. All the Mum's know each other and i feel a bit out of it. xx

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doinitalone · 01/03/2008 21:51

Hi...I'm in the same boat as you Scramble, I am really crap at making new friends, it doesnt help that I work full time too, so don't really get much of an opportunity to get involved with school activities etc. Just wish that I had a few mates that I could chill out on a Sat night with rather than spending the whole weekend just me and dds.

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Scramble · 01/03/2008 22:07

Sorry didn't realise I had relpies

give me a tick to read them

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Scramble · 01/03/2008 22:15

One thing that perhaps makes it hard is I have moved form where I grew up, I moved to where exH grew up, so I have no old friends here.

The mums I know through kids activities, will somethims have a coffe at the cafe where the activitiy is, so I don't know if we would have much more to talk about if we had a coffee in town during the day. At least I get that though, couple of the kids activities I get a chat witht he mums.

There is a drama group on the night exH usualy has the kids, I thought about it, but if exH is in the house witht he kids I prefer to be here which is silly because when I am working away exH is free to nose around the house (nothing to hide). Bit scared of joining a drama group really.

I think when working away I have come accros a bit desperate trying to drag everyone out for a drink they all just want to hang out inthe hotel. I want to go out and get drunk and chat up young fit students .

Might have a look at lone parents groups, still getting used to the idea I am a lone parent.

Every one I know seems to have loads of friends on tap and people to drop kids with or loo after others kids, I just don't have a circle of friends like that. I would love to have BBQ's inthe summer with loads of pals and their kids around.

As it is my MIL is my best friend and we go for lunch and I often have my tea at theirs and watch TV theirs.

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wiggleit · 05/03/2008 16:43

Hi Scramble. How's things with you? Have you had any luck on the making friends thing? Hard isn't it? I'm trying to make friends where i live because i'm not from round here and only know my dh mates, want my own friends! Don't get me wrong i have lots of friends where i sed to live but as i've moved out the area i hardly see them as much and i miss them. We text and meet every so often but it's not like it was. Need some local chums. I've joined the local gym which is very friendly so maybe something will develop from that. Hope you are ok. Can be lonely can't it? Let me know how things are with you. You've always got your mn mates so don't forget that! xx

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Scramble · 07/03/2008 22:32

Thanks, good to kknow I can always chat on here.

Was away on a course and managed to get chatting with 3 different guys when we were out, and had 3 guys phoning me too. One I haven't see for years and he was on the phone to a collegue that was away with me and she just handed the phone to me. The other 2 were old friends I was catching up with and updating on my new single status. Good to see I still have it .

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wiggleit · 09/03/2008 21:59

Course you've still got it scramble! Go girl! Let us know how things are with you hun. x

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Scramble · 09/03/2008 22:58

I now have a guy texting me regular and someone else to text back to say when I might be availible to meet up, another will phone soon for a chat, fecks sake too many now.

Still working on the girly friends, soom of the girls on the course I am on were talking about a weekend or even just a day away that sounds like fun.

So I am not writing myself off yet

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charlotte121 · 10/03/2008 12:14

woo hoo you lucky lady!!! Im at uni but im the only girl on my course so Im not gonna get any girly nights out with them.... plus they all live in taunton... im in bristol. I am going to start going to a mother and baby group and a aqua baby group and hope that I can harass some people into being my buddies from that.

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Kaz1967 · 10/03/2008 13:50

I know I am going to have to push myself to get out more 2 years of severe depression and isolation have not done much for my social life. I get the feeling the only way to make new friends is going to be brave it an get out there. Met 2 Mums in a café last week and got chatting hoping when this one arrives to meet up again at one of these Mum and baby things they both said they went to everything just to get out the house and maintain their sanity

Well I hope to meet you Charlotte when us Bristol lot meet at St W's

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Scramble · 10/03/2008 16:15

Glad to hear you two arre getting somewhre too, hopefully won't have to force people too much to be our friends .

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wiggleit · 10/03/2008 22:36

Glad to hear things looking up for you on the social front babe..you don't need us at all do you?! I'm surprised you have time to come on here with all the activity going on!! Grrreat stuff!! xx

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Scramble · 10/03/2008 23:49

LOL its not that hectic (yet) .

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wiggleit · 11/03/2008 20:40

Hi there chums? how is everyone? Scramble, who you trying to kid?! Things sound v busy with you...bit jealous really! Keep us informed! xx

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