Struggling

[BananaSlug]

2 days ago I woke up with incredibly painful back ache. I really don't know whats happened I haven't had anything like this before I can barely walk and I'm in pain even bending. Or walking im having to use the wall and furniture to walk. I can't stand up straight. I can just about make it to the toilet. I'm struggling to look after the children I have zero help with them and their father doesn't see them. I haven't been able to cook or clean. The house is a tip and they've been stuck in for the last few days arguing because they are bored. How do you cope in this situation? I feel sad I have no family who can take them out not to give me a break but because they are trapped inside bored and getting on each others nerves 😪 everyone says its easier on your own though?!

How are you feeling now? Hope you are feeling a bit better.

It being easier on your own depends on the type of partner you split from. If he actually does a lot of housework and childcare then it would obviously be harder alone but that's not the case with many men. I was hospitalised once with nerve pain and when I got out I was falling over and wetting myself and my partner went to work and left me with the kids. Only support he gave me was working from home when I was in hospital but he didn't tidy up so I got home to an utter mess of toys etc. think he cooked that first week too. Then he got into a massive strip and sulked and all that shit. I've had another incident of nerve pain since I've been single and while it wasn't hospital bad it meant I didn't come home to such a mess I was responsible for the mess and we ate takeaway and cereal for a week. It was fucking hard and I really really feel for you right now!! You get through by accepting you are not super woman you are human and a messy house is nothing to be ashamed of. Tell the kids to eat cereal for dinner and all watch films. If they are not old enough to bath themselves then they are not going to get smelly enough to need a bath for a few days.

How old are your kids? Could they help you with tidying up and sorting food like sandwiches etc?

Thank you. Yes you are right my ex would have never let me struggle like this so it’s hard to accept it sometimes he was very hands on and would have cleaned and took the kids out, the kids are bored so they are winding each other up which is leading to arguments. Still struggling to walk they are 12 and under but the oldest is autistic and wouldn’t be able to help much. There is way too much cleaning to expect them to do it all, the house is literally a tip. It’s going to take ages to sort out once I can.