It just gets worse

[birky]

Went to the supermarket this morning, got back to my car and my mobile rang. It was the police. Ex has been into the police station complaining that I won't let him get his stuff out of the house. Have gone over this with him so many times that the solicitors are going to arrange a time that is convenient for both of us and that I have to arrange for someone to be present with me. Spent 10 minutes explaining this to the police officer who was really nice about it and said its fine for solicitors to sort it out.

Then, I get home to find the RSPCA parked outside my house. Ex has 3 tanks of tropical fish here which are quite expensive to run off the electric - especially as I'm on a token meter. When he left and got solicitors involved, I told him that it would be decent if he'd give me a few pounds per week to contribute to the cost of running them. He refused. When we first split up, I went to stay with my mum for a few days and my solicitor told me I was within my rights to turn the tanks off to save electric. So I did. Anyway, the biggest tank of about 20 fish all died. So he reported me to the RSPCA. Nothing happened but I assume he rang again this morning so they came out to investigate. Spent ages telling him the situation and explained that I had to get rid of the dead fish as I have a 1 year old in the house. Ex has a breeding tank in the cellar (which got flooded in June with the weather) and its really cold and damp. All the baby fish have died too but the RSPCA guy said he shouldnt be keeping a breeding tank in such conditions anyway. He came to the conclusion that it's an accident due to the circumstances and explained that I must maintain the 1 remaining tank otherwise I could be prosecuted.

Am soooooo angry. It feels like he's just trying to ruin my life. Then had his stepdad on the phone asking when they could see DD. So told them they couldn't as I was sticking by what Ive told my solicitor from now on. He got quite nasty about it and said he was going to his solicitor as they have grandparents rights so gave in and let them see her for an hour with my supervision. My mum was here and DD spent the first 5 minutes clinging to her so don't think they were impressed. Hardly spoke to me then left.

I'm scared that ex is gonna find out where I live when I move and that he's gonna continue to try and destroy my life. I can't believe the person I've been with for 3 years, been engaged to, had a child to is on a mission to ruin everything for me

(((hugs)))

horrible isn't it - you think it's all over but it just dribbles on...

remember, however horrid this phase is, it is less horrid than being with him as a couple. Sounds like you are getting excellent advice and support from your solicitor and your family. the police and the rspca and all the authorities understand what he is doing and will be on your side.

i assume you are keeping a diary of all this stuff, and reporting back to your solicitor? if it amounts to harrassment you may be able to get an injunction against him (if you haven't already)

My solicitor is on holiday til monday and I'm back at work next week but gonna speak to her. I think he went to his solicitor this morning so need to find out whats going on. Been keeping a diary for months now of everythings thats happened.

Am just so fed up of him

You cant make your dd go straight to her granddad. I dont think there are 'grandparents rights' but any1 that classes dd as family can make an application for a contact order. If he was so bothered about the fish he should have taken them with him when he left. Stick to your guns. If any other member of his family get in touch etc keep a diary of this aswell. Sending you and dd hugs.

He could have taken all his stuff with him by now but he went running to the solicitor who wrote to me so thats when I got a solicitor and they advised me that it would be best if they arranged things but mine is on hol so it's dragging out.

I can't blieve he's being so bloody vindictive. His mum is very 2 faced. She'll spend ages slaggin him off to me but is up his backside when he's at home

my ex's mum is like that aswell but hes a 30yo mummys boy. He's caused this hassle for himself by running to a solicitor he wanted to get them involved so now he has to deal with the consequences, sounds like he might have done it as a rash decision and is now regretting it as he cant get his stuff.

Yes, doesn't it surprise you when you find out what you've actually been in love with. They say love's blind, but it's damn stupid too sometimes.
I read on another post that at all times you must try to have control of yourself. If you are not controlling your emotions, someone else is controlling them for you. Someone else is controlling you. Every time he pisses you off, he gets a big thrill out of it and goes away laughing. What he has done to you should be admitted and apologised for, but he's not going to give you that, is he? So at least deny him what he wants from you, which is anger, frustration and sadness. If you can help it, don't give the bastard the satisfaction. I hope all his nonsense ends soon.

Message withdrawn

sorry to hear your ex is being such an arse, I had one of those to and still occassionally nearly 8 years on he trys to pull my strings. You will get through this, I cant offer much advice really other than what others have said keep a record of everything he does and let your solicitor deal with it all, dont react to anything. As for the step dad let him go and try and enforce his grandparents rights explained here its by no means an easy thing to do and no way guaranteed he would be far better keeping on youer good side.