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Original poster

Taking my son on holiday

17 replies

Rriley1991 · 02/08/2023 22:03

Hi

My son lives with me full time he has done since he was 4 months old he is now 4 I've got his passport sorted and we are booked to go away in October but I'm a bit confused about permission his mum doesn't bother and hardly ever has done just video calls every now and again when she's drunk we had a conference with the social services when he was a baby and they said he was better off with me we never got a court order or anything he just came to live with me everything else is in my name like child benefit, doctors etc I just don't want to get to the airport then be turned away does anyone know if I need anything to take him on holiday

Thanks

OP posts:
JibbaJab · 03/08/2023 16:37

Don't hold me to it but I think if you are the resident parent you can take them on holiday for I think 30 days without permission.

Original poster
Rriley1991 · 03/08/2023 19:43

JibbaJab · 03/08/2023 16:37

Don't hold me to it but I think if you are the resident parent you can take them on holiday for I think 30 days without permission.

Thank you for the reply just don't want to get to the airport then get told we can't go

OP posts:
Jellykat · 03/08/2023 19:46

Youll be fine, just going on holiday not moving abroad permanently..
Have a great time!

Danikm151 · 03/08/2023 19:56

As a back up take some proof that he lives with you- copy of child benefit letter/letter from school/nursery but you should be ok.

BHRK · 03/08/2023 19:58

Yes I’d just take copies of letters that show he loves with you. It will be fine though

TotallyFloored · 05/08/2023 17:36

I’m actually in the same position as you (although am the mother).

I have no court order, as my very good solicitor advised the legislation has changed and if my ex-husband was not challenging me, the court would not step in to make any order. The court will only step in and get involved if they have no other choice, so if there is no challenge by the other parent, there will be no order.

technically and legally no parent can take a child out of the country without the permission of the other parent. Even if they are still married. The official position is that a certified, written consent is needed from the second parent, ideally outlining the specifics of the trip consented to (so a new one needed each time). However in practice very few people know of this and so do it.

my children are no contact with their dad and I have never had a written consent (I’m not asking for one either). I’ve been abroad loads and never been stopped, but we do all have the same names and are usually travelling for short holidays. I’ve been told it’s often immigration that will stop you, maybe question you or the child about the relationships or where the other parent is. I suspect a dad may get more scrutiny than a mum. Most will waive through, but there is always that risk.

options are:

  1. risk it
  2. get consent from the other parent
  3. try to get a court order allowing the holiday, but beware you’ll only get one if you’ve tried option 2 and the other parent is being unreasonable.

sorry if that’s not the answer you wanted.

TotallyFloored · 05/08/2023 17:37

ps - the above can be verified on the uk.gov website, but it is correct.

JibbaJab · 05/08/2023 20:38

@TotallyFloored Oh right, well guess I was wrong then, makes sense. So, if you did without consent would that be classed as abduction then?

Pretty sure the other parent can also stop a passport being issued if they haven't got one yet too.

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 05/08/2023 20:40

"Most will waive through, but there is always that risk."

What's a waive through?

MBailey99 · 05/08/2023 20:42

I took my son recently, my friend was with us too. All had different surnames. Took his birth certificate just in case but nobody said anything.

Campervangirl · 05/08/2023 20:46

Only time I've been stopped was landing back in England, me, my dd (she has a different surname to me), dp & his ds (ds has his dm's surname.
Border control said why have you all got different surnames, I just said we're a blended family.
I agree with pp I'd take something with you, a letter from school, proof of family allowance, any correspondence from SS just to be on the safe side

TotallyFloored · 05/08/2023 20:52

@FirstDayOfHoliyays sorry - typo. I meant wave through. As in, they’ll just talk to you and let you past if they are happy there is nothing suspicious.

There are ways a parent can block travel - there will be a flag placed on the passport and you’d be stopped. You’d then have to go to court and get an order. However, the other parent would need to know in advance to lodge the objection.

TotallyFloored · 05/08/2023 20:53

@JibbaJab good question actually. Not a question I asked my solicitor, but she didn’t advise against it so I suspect not.

JibbaJab · 05/08/2023 21:00

@TotallyFloored Oh okay. I'm finding family law very odd and backwards so far. Maybe it depends on circumstance, like OP and you who don't have any contact anyway.

The only reason I looked it up before and about passports is because mine are being withheld by my wife and I was worried about them leaving the country for whatever reason.

Bumply · 05/08/2023 22:19

I'm going on a cruise soon and the rules seem to have changed since I used to go with my sons. I had their birth certificates as we had different surnames.

Now for MSC cruises it seems you need a letter from the absent parent(s) with their passport details, or letter from someone in authority saying you are considered the sole parent. They don't always ask, but when they do it's been delaying embarkation with people having to get evidence sent by phone so they can show it.

Original poster
Rriley1991 · 06/08/2023 01:18

Thank you everybody for the replies I will take everything with me birth certificate, child benefit letter, letters from school they let me get his passport with all the paperwork I've got so hopefully I should be OK

OP posts:
Thatboymum · 06/08/2023 03:06

I think they only ask questions if the child has a different surname for example 2 of mine have my name and 1 has dads and when we get to passport control I’m only ever asked questions about the child with the different surname. I now have a letter that states I have permission through court to take him away as often as I want for up to 10 days at a time and I don’t get harrased now I have that So my advice is get a letter to save any stress. Going to Florida my 5 year old was questioned about where was he going and who was I to him it was so weird and he was so upset

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