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Don't know what to do - should I move or not?

6 replies

littlelamb · 27/02/2008 11:56

I currently live 300 miles away from my family - I came down here to university, had dd at the end of my first year and have stayed here since graduating. I really like it here (Devon) but I have no practical support. When dd is ill, I have to take the time off work. I do feel guilty that dd doesn't see her family as much as she could if we lived a bit closer. I am actually closer to dd's dads family than my own, despite not having a great relationship with him. I am now pregnant again, and my partner has just told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore I am signed off work for two weeks with depression, and then I can start my maternity leave. I spoke with dd's dads grandma on the phone last night and she has encouraged me to go and stay there for a while to sort my head out. She has recently bought a house and renovated it and has said that if we want to I can move in with dd for as long as it takes for me to get settled. I am torn about what to do. In reality, there is not much holding me down here. I probably won't go back to my job after maternity leave, as it is too low paid to make it really worthwhile. But at the same time I am scared to cut my ties here. I have some good friends. If I moved back home I wouldn't know anyone. It just seems such a big decision to make. My family have never been hugely supportive, so it seems strange to me that my ex dps family are so lovely to me- I am not suspicious of it, I am just not used to people offering me help. WHat would you do? The more I think the more it seems a no brainer, but I would appreciate your thoughts.

OP posts:
lilipad · 27/02/2008 17:20

where is the new home?

littlelamb · 27/02/2008 17:27

Cambridgeshire. I haven't lived there for nearly five years so I'm not sure how I would settle there now. It seems like the logical thing to do, the only reason I am resisting is because I have been independant for so long, but actually getting some support would probably be a good thing.

OP posts:
lilipad · 27/02/2008 18:13

yeh, youll make new friends wherever you go, at least youll have help whilst youre working and babysitters, got to be a good thing

pedilia · 27/02/2008 18:15

I moved back to Cambridge 4 years ago when I discoverd I was pg with DS2, I had the same worries and concerns as you but have managed fine.
I met lots of lovely people through work,school and social activities.

I had to make a decsion based on what was best for my children so we bit the bullet nad moved.

OverMyDeadBody · 27/02/2008 18:18

Move, it sounds like you have nothing to loose by moving and nothing to gain from staying. I moved to be close to my parents when I became a single mum, and without their help and support I'd really struggle.

Cambridge is great too.

littlelamb · 27/02/2008 18:25

Without support I really have struggled to find a decent job that I can fit around childcare, so it might be good for my career too. They are paying for my train ticket to go and stay with them at the end of this week so I can have a shoulder to cry on and will try to suss out the work and school situation when I am there. Ooo I am quite excited at the prospect. Only bad thing is that I have a foreign student living with us right now so she would have to find somewhere else, and also the prospect of moving when heavily pregnant

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