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Gas lighting Co parent

2 replies

Rental101 · 31/07/2023 18:27

My ex split up with me the week after I found out I was pregnant . I tired to make it work , he said he wanted to, but in reality he was not very nice to me at all .

He has two other kids . I have asked him to do things for our child such as take him for a glasses appointment when I was at work ,but he said he needed to spend time with his children instead because they are off on holiday( kids could have gone too ) . He then blamed me for causing conflict .

He says he doesn’t see his child much because I ruined the relationship. He has only just started paying maintenance as I claimed.

He overtly chooses his other children but says I cause the divide ( not true , I got on with and always wanted to be part of their family).

My brain will not accept this is it and I am on my own . I can't fathom he is not as bothered about my child . Any tips to cope with this ? I’m struggling with the fact his kids get his full attention and ours doesn’t get much at all . He only wants to see my child when his other family are around as the coo over him as he is cute / a baby .

OP posts:
Crunchingleaf · 01/08/2023 13:37

Okay so take a step back here and think about this from your child’s perspective.

It is hurting you that your child is being pushed aside. Right now you have one thing on your side and that is your DC sounds like they are too young to realise. So stop reaching out to Ex because it’s putting you in position of feeling hurt about your child’s treatment.

One day your DC will be old enough to realise what is happening and they will be hurt by it, but if they have a loving, nurturing home environment and people around them then that will help them realise that it’s the dads fault and not DC fault.

You can’t change your ex. You can’t make him care. You can control how you react to him and you and DC will build a lovely bond and life together. Life is too short to waste time thinking about a selfish twat.

Rental101 · 01/08/2023 14:50

Crunchingleaf · 01/08/2023 13:37

Okay so take a step back here and think about this from your child’s perspective.

It is hurting you that your child is being pushed aside. Right now you have one thing on your side and that is your DC sounds like they are too young to realise. So stop reaching out to Ex because it’s putting you in position of feeling hurt about your child’s treatment.

One day your DC will be old enough to realise what is happening and they will be hurt by it, but if they have a loving, nurturing home environment and people around them then that will help them realise that it’s the dads fault and not DC fault.

You can’t change your ex. You can’t make him care. You can control how you react to him and you and DC will build a lovely bond and life together. Life is too short to waste time thinking about a selfish twat.

Thank you , I really appreciate your message . It is true that my little one does not know any different right now . I will certainly disengage as I can’t change anything.

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