Ex bought son a knife

[aperolspriitz]

If your ex bought your 8 year old son a pocket knife WWYD?

Son has told me he's been allowed to take it out unsupervised in rec area behind the house.

Son is not a violent/ aggressive type at all - most of the time he's a chilled, peaceful child but I think his dad encourages this "tough boy" attitude and there's a bit of toxic masculinity going on.

I worry about gang violence etc and older kids carrying knives.

An 8 year old child should not be carrying any kind of knife, anywhere.

You need to take it away from him and only allow him to use it under strict supervision.

How can I take it away from him when he only has it at his dad's though? He doesn't bring it home.

How long is the blade and is it sharp or rounded at the end? A childrens whittling knife used when supervised would be fine. Anything else would be concerning

Time to start talking about knife crime! Here are some links to trustworthy PSHE resources about knives, used in schools:

Ugh. Sorry, I didn't realise that. Are you able to reason with your ex at all?

Not really. He also shows him horror movies, lets him play 18+ games etc. Thinks all this is fine. He won't listen to me, often doesn't even answer the phone... there's no respect at all. I just don't know what I can do about this.

It's a swiss army knife type thing. He's not always being supervised when using it. He's letting him take it out to mess around with behind the house.

I had a Swiss Army knife at that age, tiny pocket thing, loved it. I don't think it's wrong if used appropriately.

My son had a pocket/Swiss aemy knife when he was ten. It's very useful and he had a an outdoorsy up bringing.

He was not allowed to take it to school obviously nor out to play unless he was accompanied by one of his parents and we were going somewhere with them such as the woods etc.

My son has one I bought for him at 9. He’s very involved in scouting, uses it for whittling, gadgets, it even has a flint and steel. Useful if I forget the corkscrew. He’s also into cooking and uses all the kitchen knives like a pro. He’s only allowed it at home he can’t take it out with him unless we’re off camping together.

Is gang violence a real issue where he lives, cause that would make a difference? We’re in a very rural sleepy village.

@cocksstrideintheevening @Dombasle @SomeonesRealName I really don't think this has been given to him with the idea that he might use it at Scouts or cooking or something. Ex never does anything much with the kids, he certainly wouldn't be taking them camping. This is about "becoming a man" or some other daft trope he's probably seen in a video game.

Yes knife/ gang crime is a problem where we are.

Well if you can’t change the fact of his having a knife at dads I think I’d probably buy one at home too so I could make sure he knew how to use it safely, open and close all the tools safely, put it away after every use and stick to rules about where he takes it and who else can use it (DS is not allowed to let anyone else use his penknife). I would also be talking to him about the dangers of knife crime as obviously you feel there is a higher risk. He should know some first aid so he knows what to do if he (or anyone else) accidentally cuts himself, this will also reinforce the danger.

Or you could buy yourself one

As his parent this is something you can get ahead of. Have you taught him any knife skills at home? Is he allowed to chop things while preparing food? Whittling wood? Etc
This could be a valuable way to teach him that a knife is more than a weapon. It's a tool that can be used for more than violence or "becoming a man".

Knife violence is only increasing because kids/teens think it's a status symbol.

In my household we have an outdoorsy outlook. My 8 year old can use knives safely (scouting background) and my 13 year can cut up things easily without injury. Both respect that knives are dangerous and not for playing with.

If your ex won't listen to you I'd say you need to teach your son knife safety to ensure he knows how to use it safely. Plus some minor first aid which might also make it clear he can get hurt.