would you grass someone up for benefit fraud if...

[givemehope]

They were your XP and legal aid was covering their side of a court battle over contact?

The main 'issue' here is one of past domestic violence (towards me). At the time it was happening my health visitor said that witnessing DV is classed as child abuse and warned me that if I didn't get XP to move out social services would be getting involved.

Two years down the line the Courts don't seem to be seeing things the same way. As XP and I are not together solicitors and CAFCASS are saying there is not longer any risk to DS. I am, however, worried that if and when XP gets a new partner he will be abusive again ( he has been in every relationship he's had) and I don't want DS to grow up witnessing this. Thus I have been holding out for minimal daytime contact so far. I also have concerns about XP's drug use (pothead but history of far worse) and temper (flying off the handle, shouting - have seen him do this with his older DCs).

I'm not getting Legal Aid (on very low income but too much equity in my house) and have spent £5000 already. He's working cash in hand so getting it all paid for and (you guessed it) is not paying any maintenance either.

I know the people he works for - so haven't done this before as don't want to get them into trouble. Feels like my last chance now though. Very angry today - would this just be vindictive or would I be right to do it?

[hecate]

Yes. I would. It probably is vindictive, but I wouldn't care at all.

As far as I'd be concerned, he'd deserve it. a) It's a crime. b) Your post describes someone who is a danger.

I'd stop at nothing to block someone who was even a slight threat to me or my child.

But that's just me.

[hecate]

The only concern I'd have is - would he know or guess it was you and if as you say, he is agressive - would you be in danger?

Safety first and all that!

But morally? I wouldn't hesitate.

[MissingMyHeels]

I definitely would - the fact he is your XP as an aside he is breaking the law and you being a working taxpayer are effectively paying for his pothead habits as well as his legal fees.

Given that it is also beneficial for you and your child it's a no brainer.

[givemehope]

Thank-you. Even though what he's doing is wrong I suppose I feel it's not 'nice' or something to grass someone up either (and it'll be completely obvious that it was me). It is my last resort though and, yes, if it's the only way left to protect my DS I'll do it.

[brimfull]

God yes I would report him.

Good luck.

[hecate]

No. What's 'not nice' is to abuse people and to abuse the system that is set up to provide a safety net to people in genuine need.

Your guilt is misplaced!

[givemehope]

Crossed posts with you both. He would guess it was me but I currently have an injunction stopping him coming near me (I don't think he'd break it as like most bullies he's a chicken really). Wouldn't do much for our co-parenting relationship though.
Have to go out now but thanks for your thoughts.

[expatinscotland]

Yes, I would turn such a person in.

[Drusilla]

God yes, I would too

[givemehope]

X posts again! Yes, hecate, I think my over-developed sense of self blame is what got me into this mess in the first place. Thank you.

[littlewoman]

I would stitch him in a heartbeat, it can only benefit you, and not doing so might harm you or your dcs if he gets improved contact rights.

[sushistar]

Report him. There are little old ladies who can't heat their houses on their tiny pensions, while people like him are stealing money that rightly belongs to old or disabled people.

You can do it online here.

Or by phone:
National Benefit Fraud Hotline: 0800 854 440. "Your call is free and confidential. Lines are open 7.00am - 11.00pm, 7 days a week."

I think you don't even have to give your name.