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Should I contact my toxic baby daddy ?

5 replies

liloandstitches · 10/07/2023 10:29

Hi everyone I needed some advice if any you want to reply I would really appreciate it. I was in a relationship with a verbally abusive guy, he called me the worst names and threatened me. I went no contact with him when I was five months pregnant because I didn’t want to be treated like that anymore. I kept in contact with his mother because I didn’t think it was fair to keep his family out of the picture. He told me he doesn’t think she is his anymore about a month before I gave birth and that he didn’t want me taking to his mom anymore. I decided that I was still going to keep in contact with her. I told his mom I had her and she seemed happy. I also asked her to tell him that she was here. He said that it wasn’t fair he missed the birth IF he is the father. So what I took from that is he was still questioning if he was the father l. I asked his mom if he wanted a paternity test but she never responded. It’s been a month my baby girl is a month old now. Should I break no contact and ask him if he wants to be in her life or should i just wait until he decides what he wants to do? I would appreciate any feedback ,thank you.

OP posts:
angstridden2 · 10/07/2023 10:31

Keep him out of your life and that of your child.

StillPerplexed · 10/07/2023 10:36

I think you've been more than accomodating enough in keeping the grandmother informed. You don't need an abusive man in your daughter's life, and your daughter doesn't need it either. It sounds like he would like it not to be his responsibility and he resents being reminded of it. This isn't a good man!

NewtonsCradle · 10/07/2023 10:38

There's 2 separate things here, one his relationship with his daughter and two paying child support. He won't want a paternity test as it traps him into a financial obligation for 18 years. If you want him to pay child support he needs to get a paternity test. If you want them to have a relationship then you should probably take the baby to visit her grandma on a regular basis and let grandma work on her son. Good luck.

liloandstitches · 10/07/2023 10:47

That's what my gut is telling me to do, thanks

OP posts:
laplaland · 11/07/2023 16:12

Keep him out of your life. He reminds me of my ex and my daughter is better off without her so called 'Dad' in her life. You'll do just fine without him. Look after yourself and your DC. X

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