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Original poster

Solo parent for 19yrs Dad money dilema

9 replies

Jaylouf76 · 02/07/2023 23:57

So I've been a solo parent for 19yrs, 1 ds now at uni. His dad has had Zero contact. since he was a baby. To cut a long story short he was a small time crim & went to jail. Turns out he's now living straight & doing well but his elderly parents have both died & have left me & my son some money in their will. So he's been in touch via sm & messaged saying he doesn't want to disrupt our lives or even have contact & thanked me for my sacrifices! Bloody cheek, but wants to give us the money. Obviously times are tough rn, Do I accept? Or leave the past well alone.....??
Don't want to seem like a money grabber, but 19yrs struggling solo I feel I'm due some help! Uni is pricey & want to help my ds with ££. Any thoughts welcome

OP posts:
BreadInCaptivity · 02/07/2023 23:59

Take the money.

It's from his parents not him.

Frankly you deserve this ten times over.

It doesn't mean you need to re-start any conversation with him beyond this.

Haffdonga · 02/07/2023 23:59

Of course you should accept the money. It's your ds's.

Magenta65 · 03/07/2023 00:01

He’s clearly set his boundaries in regards to contact, take the money, ask for solicitors details etc and hopefully that’ll be the last of the contact for yourself. It’s his parents money not his, don’t be a fool, use it to help DS and ease the pressure

Fantina · 03/07/2023 00:03

Take the money for your DS

Done2much · 03/07/2023 00:03

the legacy is from your ds' grandparents not from your ex. are you worried that he will use this to try to get back into your lives when you'd rather he stayed away?
accepting a legacy doesn't make you a money grabber imo

Original poster
Jaylouf76 · 03/07/2023 00:10

He said it was both of us, hence my hesitation. I would give it all to my son anyway. I just feel weird accepting it. Need to work in that. You're all right though & thanks it's from them not him! Hadn't seen it that way as was a bit freaked out by the sudden contact.

OP posts:
OhcantthInkofaname · 03/07/2023 00:14

Take the money. Split it between you and your son. Don't give it all to him. You deserve a gift for the sacrifices for those 19 years.

EggInANest · 03/07/2023 00:21

If they left it in their Will it is direct from them to you and their grand child.

Accept it without any more thought!

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/07/2023 01:11

Is he offering any more money than what was left to your son anyway?

I wish you could put in a retrospective playing for child support.

How much is he offering you? I hope it's a lot given how much you've done for your son.

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