3 years on still manipulating and making me feel rubbish.

[FizzyPop31]

My child's dad left me 10 weeks pregnant after asking me for a baby for years. We were together around 6 years and married.

The whole relationship was challenging and unhappy. I nearly left him about 18 months before I fell pregnant and then he changed for a while and I agreed to have a baby.

It transpired he was having an affair and that's why he kept disappearing when I was in early pregnancy and blaming it on an argument we had.

I moved out and had very limited contact when I was pregnant he would just pop up asking to take baby for sleepovers and the suggestion was that he thought he could do this since newborn.
I refused this and told him to slowly build the contact...
it was incredibly stressful and has been the whole time and it's still going on. He continues to make ridiculous demands about seeing little one when he lives/moved 2 hours away. I've always gone through solicitor since about 5 months old as he was threatening to take me to court. So he's always he contact and reasonable time. Although it's never enough.

I've told him to keep communication over email and only text in emergency and then he will text me every now and again very cloak and dagger basically accusing me of neglecting or abusing my daughter but very under handedly.

It's honestly wearing me down and really upsetting me. I just want to be a good mum for my little one and get on with my life but he just feels like a huge thorn in my side.
I feel like he emotionally and psychologically abused me and he's still doing it now.

:(

If he has an email address for you block him from your phone and just look at your emails one a week or so.

Think about it logically; this man left his child before your DC was even born. He has barely been in your DC's life, left you to do the night wakings, the feeding and nappy changing and all of the parenting pretty much 24/7, 365 days a year and he has the cheek to call you a bad parent.

He's a dick and until he's done some real parenting (I mean 50/50 minimum for a sustained period) his comments as valueless as he truly has no idea how to raise a child.

Ignore him and keep moving forward with your life. You're proving your value as a parent every day looking after your child and he's proving he's a feckless cunt every day he doesn't see his child.

Thank you.
I know the more time goes by the more I see that.

He's been told many times to keep things over email!!!

If blocked though what about picks ups, drop offs if he's late etc?

Be where you're supposed to be for drop offs/pick ups etc.

If he's not there on time, give him 5/10 mins grace and then leave.

Take a photo of yourself at the right place at the right time and email it to him, saying I was here, you didn't show up, so I left.

Then, when you get an email from him (as he can't call you) explain he now needs to meet you at X (more convenient place) at Y time and he'd better be there on time as you're not waiting.

Or if you have the kids and were meeting him to drop them off, just keep them with you and say "I was at the meeting point at the correct time with the children, you didn't show up so I'm presuming you're not having them for this contact time. I will meet you at X place at Y time for your next contact."

Then don't look at your emails again until just before the next contact time.

Eventually he will realise that if he doesn't show up on time he either:
A) doesn't get to see his kids, or
B) doesn't get to drop the kids off until later at a less convenient time/place for him.

Make his changes negatively affect him and stick to that (whilst always documenting the fact that you're at the correct place and on time).

Worst he can do is send you ranty emails (which you can skim read/ignore) or take you to court and you can show all the times he wasn't where he was supposed to be, making it obvious that he's the problem and not you.