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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

OMG THIS IS HELL!

10 replies

blanki · 20/02/2008 22:04

OK, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, But I think I have good reason.
What is the present is NOT what I signed up for.
I hate to deny social inclusion, in any way, BUT!!!! what was I thinking???

Any response from those who are a little bit normal most welcome. If you think I am unusual, please share your pearls of wisdom.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

1066andallthat · 20/02/2008 22:10

What's hellish?

What did you originally think?

Are you going to be OK?

Original poster

blanki · 20/02/2008 22:18

Whats hellish- ds grows up in an enviroment that I would never have chosen for him.

Thought the whole 'Rose Petal' my child will be offered the world, and he deserves it(!)

Thank you for your concern. I will be fine. My dreams are broken. And that, that I hoped for my PFB are far removed. But, no-one has died, it could be so much worse. Please share with me, Cheers

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1066andallthat · 20/02/2008 22:39

But for the first few years, you are all he wants and needs - so, that gives you time to change some things.

Work back from what you want for you both and then, work out how you go about achieving that. Right now, your dreams may seem unattainable but don't let go of them just yet.

How old is your DS?

Original poster

blanki · 20/02/2008 22:52

DS is almost 3yo. I have grown so much and my dreams are only growing. Now, I would consider professional things as I never would. HE WILL NOT BREAK ME DOWN!

BUT

How do you deal with a partner who resides on another planet from dc and mummy?

OP posts:

avenanap · 20/02/2008 23:00

You are not in hell, you have taken a small diversion from your chosen path. You can still see your path because you know it exists. You just need to stop, adapt to the place where you are now and find the way back to your chosen path. It's a challenge that's all. Life's just seeing what you are made of. I can tell that you are made of courange and determination. You just can't see this yet. Your dreams are not broken, thet are still there waiting for you. There is plenty of space for your child. A partner has to adapt with you or not. It's for you to decide what happens if he chooses not. There is stregnth within you. You just have to look and let it out.

1066andallthat · 21/02/2008 14:37

Or for a bit of spin - you look at your partner as a happy addition, but not essential .

Unless, he is a not-so-wonderful-ex, in which case, you keep contact and damage to the minimum and hope for the best.

Keep going. It is just after the toddler years, that you can start focusing on yourself again.

Original poster

blanki · 21/02/2008 22:56

Thankq ladies. This is not an easy subject for me, as you would assume. But, as you may not assume, I am not in the strongest position, due to mental ill health. Ds's father, despite the lies, has the legal majority. I am in Scotland and am currently pursuing routes via Human Rights for myself and my son. It would appear that my case would be stronger if I had a criminal record, as opposed to a medical record. The reason that I got unwell in the first place was because of a criminal act. I was 9 years old. Is there anyone who would support me, or gain in a personal or professional capacity from such work?
The past has happened and we cannot change it. However, it does not need to set the future in tablets of stone.
Recovery is something we all deserve.
Please comment and if you would like my email, please advise.
Best wishes

OP posts:

1066andallthat · 22/02/2008 00:15

I am totally out of my depth and I think you need to post this in legal and or feeling depressed.

From the very little you are saying, you made me think of the recent story about Fran and Molly. You'll get loads more support and if there is anyone on here who can help or point you in the right direction, they will.

Go on, try it - and don't forget to clear your internet history if anyone else has access to your computer.

Original poster

blanki · 22/02/2008 12:34

Thanks for that. Will try what you suggested, probably tonight. Actually, its Friday night and might be too heavy- but I will do it.
Best wishes

OP posts:

1066andallthat · 22/02/2008 23:14

Hang on in there - you have found a place that will help. You're right - some nights are slow. Mmm, what does that say about me, being here ?

Another thought has occurred to me - are you in touch/getting support from any of the mental health charities? I know, years ago, some of them would have helped you fight your corner and with the mention of Human Rights, I suspect they are already on board?

Have a good, positive weekend. I'm still good for general chat, you know .

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