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Ex having another child - my DS was told to keep it secret

2 replies

Radkar · 03/06/2023 20:53

I’m upset. I am single parent of one (6) and my ex has just been a very basic parent. Somehow reliable seeing his son once a week for 6 years never extra. I wanted a big family and he disliked being a parent plus cheated. We divorced and now his girlfriend is pregnant . Congrats to her, but I am upset, because no one told me - I saw her today and she was clearly hiding a belly. I then asked my boy (I couldn’t resist ) an he told me he promised the girlfriend he won’t tell me about the baby. I don’t get why. I hate that my son was put in the position to lie to me (we are extremely close). Me and gf met few times and i really really liked her - never bad mouth the ex even though I have a lot to say. I don’t get it. I would actually be happy my boy has a sibling that I couldn’t give him because of the break up (obviously little bit upset because I wanted more and my ex clearly hates parenting and is now having kid while I am getting to age when it’s not gonna probably ever happen). I am seeing her again in two weeks and I don’t know if I should say something (we are not close we just met and chatted few times when she was helping taking care of my boy).

OP posts:
Crunchingleaf · 03/06/2023 21:45

It’s not good for your son if he being told to keep secrets like this. I think if it was me I would congratulate her and just be very pleasant about it towards her and also in front of your son. If he is excited then be excited for him. If he is worried then reassure him that it will all be fine. Different but fine.

Slightly different situation for my DS1. When I went on the have DC2, DS1 was so so excited. His dad’s reaction was quite negative and he told DS1 I would have no time for him anymore. When I was expecting DS3 then DS1 under no circumstances wanted his dad to know., because he dad spoiled it for him the first time. My ex is a class A idiot but I have to rise above it for DS1 sake. My advice is basically don’t appear to be the bitter ex. Live well yourself.

chezpopbang · 03/06/2023 23:04

I would be speaking with the dad and saying you couldn't care less if he knocked up his latest squeeze but do not ask my child to lie to me. I would be fuming if this is what is being said to my son. Clearly the gf has a reason for saying this. Probably been told a load of lies by your ex

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