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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Is it possible to balance working fulltime/studying and parenting a toddler?

10 replies

DecemberMama21 · 31/05/2023 19:34

Hi everyone
I have been offered an amazing opportunity training for a career I’ve always wanted to do. It would involve working 4 days a week and one day at university. My little one will be turning 2 at the time of starting the job and I will qualify just before he starts school.

I currently work part time and do 99.9 percent of parenting and childcare with limited help. Am I being crazy or should I accept this job. He is my priority and I feel such mum guilt. My sisters reaction was quite negative which has upset me.

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Ilikepinacoladass · 31/05/2023 20:04

Does he go to childcare atm? Assuming yes if you're working part time.

I mean yes it's doable will just involve sorting nursery/ childminder/ childcare for 5 days a week.

You'll probs feel quite frazzled and not get lots of time with your toddler but only you know if the benefits outweigh those downsides for you.

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WeightoftheWorld · 31/05/2023 20:08

I'm not a lone parent, and have two little ones, but I recently had this dilemma but mine also involved a long commute, and I turned it down after agonising about it. The commute issue was a big thing for me though, if it had been a local employer etc maybe I would have taken it tbf, I dunno. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer or if there is, only you know what it is.

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MatureStudentToBeMaybe · 31/05/2023 20:47

I think you need to carefully check studying expectations. I.e. in addition to 1 day uni are you expected to find, say, 4 hours of your own time per week? If so is it realistic for you? It sounds like a fantastic opportunity, but is likely to be a stretch.

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Moonshine5 · 31/05/2023 20:48

Yes it is. You will have to kiss goodbye to your social life for the duration of the course. Good luck

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livelovebath · 31/05/2023 20:52

Why do you do 99.9% of parenting? Do you have much of a support network locally?

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Resilience · 31/05/2023 21:09

Yes. I did it (with twins). Not having a partner actually helped in some ways because I had no one else I needed to worry about giving my attention to.

However, it is also exhausting and nearly broke me on more than one occasion. I could not have got through it without my wonderful friends.

I'd do it all over again but be prepared for it to be hard.

Good luck!

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Olegurl · 31/05/2023 21:18

Hi!
Yes completely possible. I'm a single parent (father not involved at all) and somehow was studying and working full time with a one year old. It was hard at times but I don't regret it because I know that I'm working to provide a better future. I'll be moving to the UK very soon as a single parent with a toddler as well which I know will be an exciting (yet another challenging) opportunity.

Definitely hard but not impossible. I think you can manage with realistic expectations, a solid plan, childcare, a schedule that works, and a support system. Good luck!

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Putdownthecake · 31/05/2023 21:38

Hi op, this is me!
As of September will be doing a degree with the same work/study pattern as you. I currently do the job I'll be doing for the first year of the degree programme. I see it was one less day to work (studying instead). My baby will be 9 months. I feel tremendous guilt but it's also the same job I'd be going back to. I also know something being tough doesn't make it impossible. I think you have to be truly passionate about whatever it is.
That being said, I haven't started yet but worst case scenario I'd quit. I also have a sen ds who will be starting school at the same time. It is a challenge. Everything I do is to give them the future they deserve but I also need to take care of me and in my case, that's using my brain for something other than things relating to my children. What is the worst that could happen if you tried and it didn't work out?

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DecemberMama21 · 31/05/2023 22:14

Thank you for all your helpful replies, I am positive you are all amazing parents and a credit to your children! I have my mum who lives close by and has agreed to help once a week with childcare and obviously she’d be around on weekends if I had an assignment due to help, I don’t have much of a social life as his dad sees him once every few months and dosent help. It’s impossible to date I just try and do something nice with him every weekend and make the most of our time together. My sister used to help me quite abit but is also a single parent working fulltime although she has agreed to help with some of the nursery pick ups. I know it would be a huge challenge but it’s a career I’ve been wanting to explore for the last few years and never had the confidence to pursue.

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livelovebath · 31/05/2023 22:45

Sounds like you'll make it work and sounds like a worthwhile investment in your future. Good luck