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Coming to terms of having only one child

2 replies

Jennyven · 30/05/2023 21:47

I’m a single parent and I am coming to terms of having only one child! so I’m 34 and have a 6 year old boy (who is absolutely perfect!). I always wanted big family and to have 3/4 children . I would even go as far as to say it was the biggest dream I had for my life. Unfortunately, I chose a wrong men who ended up leaving and is now barely in the picture (I also have very little help and no family in UK). I’ve been trying to date past 2/3 years with intention to marry and have more kids, but it’s very difficult plus I don’t have time due to being full time parent. I’m so resentful that my ex ruined all my dreams and we didn’t have more children and he left and doesn’t help so it’s hard to meet someone to try again (while he got in new relationship and has two more kids). I’m trying to come to terms of having only one child, but I do cry a lot about it. Donor is not an option as I’m single parent in really expensive town on benefits. So it would be struggle doing it solo. Any advice how to come to terms with having only one? 😭 it’s making me so sad all the time…

OP posts:

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shivermetimbers77 · 30/05/2023 21:50

Hi OP, perhaps focus on all the things you can do with one/afford with one which would be much harder with two? Over
time it will get easier. I love having my one and am not envious of my friends with more than one who have to deal with sibling squabbles loads of the time!

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Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 30/05/2023 21:51

I'm really sorry you're feeling so sad about it. I'm one and done by choice. Can you try thinking about the benefits of just having one. I personally think I am a much better parent to my DD because there is only her, I am more patient and I have more time and energy to give her then if I had more children. Our life is so much easier with just one than many of my friends with multiple children, we're all much more relaxed and happier as a result. I have been able to continue my career and progress without compromising on my relationship with my DD.

You will have different reasons but try to seek out the positives of the situation. Also maybe seek out some counselling to help you process the grief over what you wanted and help refocus on your future.