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Bird nesting

4 replies

watdouthink · 09/05/2023 12:09

Hi,

Me and my husband of almost 7 years have been having issues a while and the relationship is just getting worse and it's affecting me mentally and as a parent I'm struggling with all the stress.

We have two young kids, just turned 2 and a 10 month old.

I'm thinking birdnesting might be a good idea. So when I'm with the kids I live in the house we have mortgaged together, and when he has the kids I'll move out to my mums for those days. That way the kids have stability. Also, I will struggle as a single mother to get a rental with my wages let alone get on the property ladder again. Rental in my area for a 2 bed is £1200 for just a small house in a basic area. We only bought the house two years ago so there isn't much equity in it but enough to mean I wouldn't be able to claim benefit or get any housing help.

Also, if after time apart and a break etc if we decided that we did want to be together we wouldn't have made a rash decision to sell the house etc. He is refusing to move out (he has family he could go to happily) and I have no where to go easily where I can take the kids and have the space etc.

I wondered if anyone had any experience or advice or views on birdnesting as I don't know anyone who has done it?

OP posts:
AllOrNothingSituation · 09/05/2023 12:17

I don’t know anyone that has done it tbh. Where would he go on “your days” would he be leaving or staying there?

watdouthink · 09/05/2023 13:04

@AllOrNothingSituation

Hi, no he wouldn't stay here he would go to his parents.

So we wouldn't have the expense of another house.

We wouldn't stay together here at all.

I'd go to my mums when he was here on his days with the kids. And he would go to his parents when I was here with the kids.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 09/05/2023 13:28

So try it and see if it works.

But be clear with each other beforehand, whether you are 'apart' and allowed to date others or 'working on the marriage' and therefore not allowed to date others.

watdouthink · 09/05/2023 14:15

@MintJulia

Thanks for the suggestion.

Dating someone else is the furthest thing from my mind but good to be clear so no issues arise further down the line !

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