How do you get through this?

[ilovethecold]

Left my partner of 12 years. Not marries 2 children under 5 both SEN and waiting on diagnosis.

Our house is going up for sale next week. Both work full time both earn near 50k each.

We are both stuck until the house sales so we can move on but do it the right way for the kids. I'm just at breaking point. I feel nervous. My confidence is gone. I'm really struggling to keep myself in order and 'carry' on. I am so overwhelmed with life right now.

I guess I'm posting just to hear other experiences and how you felt when you started your life again.

All I can say is it will get better, and we hear you.

It is scary and overwhelming at the beginning, so just take one day at a time, and one thing at a time (my memory went to pot I was so stressed), write down what you need to do to stop it all buzzing round your brain.

You have done the right thing and hopefully the house will sell quickly. And then you will find yourself in your new life and the stress of it all will start to ease. If you can, find time for yourself just to sit and relax/do nothing, even for half an hour with a brew...not easy with 2 small kids I know, but see if you can make it happen, even if you have to get up earlier than them to have a moment of peace!

You're on good money so are you renting somewhere to live, so that you're not under each others' feet and can move on in that way?

Is it amicable enough (or even doable with your children's needs) to have an agreement where each of you parent solo for a few evenings a week putting kids to bed etc and the other goes elsewhere? Gym, friends etc. Gives some space and will be a gentle start if you later plan to do 50/50 contact.

Ive found a few houses to rent near my parents but my ex won't take on the mortgage on his own even though I said we can get something in writing so I don't get any payment for it when the house sales. I said I would happily take on the mortgage but he has no where to go.

Trying so hard to be amicable and suggested 3 evenings a week we spilt it at and on the other day we get some things sorted with the house and start filtering down our belongings. I stayed over at my mums last night as he wanted the kids today and I came home to do handover and he said he doesn't want to do this arrangement as he doesn't know where I am and that's messing up his head. I can't win what I do.

Yesterday , he said he wants us to co- parent and I just can't see this happening. I don't think he will be able to manage this with his shift work and our 4 year old starts a school in September which will accolade his needs , it's a 45 minute travel and he will be getting transport there.