Child's father was asking for a DNA test

[Orangejuice30]

So my daughter's dad and I separated before she was born. He met someone (who had a child of her own) and I never heard anything more from him. He was aware the child was born but has never met her and is not on the birth certificate.
Last year he decided to get a lawyer to try and get on the birth certificate (of the child who is now nearly 4 and never even seen him once). As he is not on the certificate he had to ask for a dna test first. My lawyer and I agreed to allow that and then we heard nothing back. Three months have now gone since agreed to do it and still no word to the point that my lawyer can only assume that he's changed his mind about going forward with it.
My question is...just because its so baffling to me that he dropped it when he was getting what he wanted...anyone got any clue why? Why do you think he changed his mind last minute? I've had no contact with the guy in 4 years but from the little I know, he's still with the same woman and certainly has no money problems...so it's weird he'd just drop the whole thing and go back into hiding again.

@MakesMeFeelSad I'd be surprised if it was a money issue really (again I've not had any contact for years but from the little I know about him, he's certainly not hurting for money...but who knows what hes thinking about that)
I'm guessing it's something to do with the current partner...her pushing him to be involved when he doesn't want to OR her getting upset that he wants to see his kid and might not bother with her kid now, etc.
It would definitely be interesting to find out, just because the whole situation is so strange.

Personally people talk about child maintenance . I would be like you … I wouldn’t claim unless he wanted access . People often tell you they aren’t linked but sometimes not claiming keeps them
away .

I only started claiming when my abusive ex took me to court for contact

@Starlightstarbright1 My ex was very nasty to me so I was quite happy with him keeping his distance and I wouldn't have wanted to draw attention to myself by claiming anything from him (although it's only in this chat I found out that I could even though he's not on the birth cert).
If he ever re-appears and tries for dna/contact again then I of course will start claiming, but he seems to have gone quiet again and I'm not going to rock the boat by claiming now.

I think you are very wise . Legally entitled isn’t the same as a good idea. Wishing you peace going forward

So daughter's boyfriend out of the blue has said he wants daughter to arrange and pay for a dna test and refuses to see baby without one. (In fairness we are all rejoicing as he is an idiot) Baby is 8 weeks.

They don't live together. He's named another man that my daughter had a relationship with previously whilst they weren't together.
The child is the boyfriends. There is no doubt and he is just using him against her.
They have never lived together and he is not paying maintenance or providing for his son because he says he's skint. He is 10 years older and not a nice man. In trouble with police, drugs and alcohol issues. He has many mental issues and is estranged from his family. They have never had a decent relationship and in fairness my young daughter thought this baby would make him love her. (Always a big mistake) it hasn't made things better and she has finished with him. (That's probably what prompted this) Despite the fact they are not together as a couple we have actively encouraged him to see his son and have enabled him to do so even allowing him to stay at ours as we do not want to use the child and as a family we will always do what is right for the baby. (When he is with the baby he is very possessive and rarely puts him down and won't let my daughter hold him)
However by claiming he is not the father when he knows damn well he is he is using the child against her and I won't stand for it.
I'd like to tell him to go fly a kite and in all honesty it would be better for the child if he did one (now he has shown me he's such a user) but I assume as he is the named father we can't just tell him to P off.
Anyway although he has said he won't see his son without proof he is the dad, we believe this is a game probably said whilst fuelled with drugs. He is due here for the day next week and I think he will turn up. We don't want him at the house anymore and we are worried about what he may do to the baby if he is having doubts.
Daughter has sent him a message telling him she is willing for him to pay for a court accredited test and after we have the results he can arrange contact and pay maintenance but I think he will pretend nothings happening and turn up here anyway.
What should we do after all it is his son but I am very worried

I bet he's been saying he's not the father and his current partner pushed him for a DNA test so you could be shamed or some such shit and when it came to it he realised that when it came back that he is the father, she may question all the other shit he's said.

I expect he thought you'd refuse and he could say to her look, I told you so. You saying yeah that's fine was not how he expected it to go. Plus if it's through CMS then he can't send a friend to impersonate him because they check your identity very well.

Or he went quiet because he went so far then told her you'd said no so she will drop it.

I would wait til your child is 15 and then put in a claim for maintenance with back payment 😈 by that time he won't be able to fuck with your child or your lives...

Maybe he's writing his will / life assurance policy and has to include (or exclude) all biological children.

Sorry new to this and I have posted on wrong post and don't know how to delete it x

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