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Original poster

Moving away

1 reply

xx200xx · 26/04/2023 20:56

Hello,
So I basically moved away from my sons father 3 months ago to go to a refuge due to abuse.

My son is 19 months
We have been going through the court process and he's applied for 50/50 custody. However he had the option to see our child next week for 2 days a week and 2 hours and he refused because he wanted him over night. Even the judge said that was a disappointment that he didn't accept the offer to see him. However back in 5 weeks as DS father is still trying to get the overnight stay. He has lied so much in court about me and has been awful to me. He's also trying to get out of paying any maintenance for our son.
I currently live an hour and half away from him in a refuge, I'm somewhere without any support system.

However my family all live 3 and a half hours away from DS father. They suggested I move down near them as my son will then have family to grow up with and I will have my support system and extra help.

I'm just really worried about my sons father. What the courts might say?? Also if my son grows up to hate me because of this??

My sons father wrote on a CAFCASS report how when I leave refuge he's worried who I have around my son and how I don't have a support system etc. Also bringing my mental health into the courts.

So if anything moving closer to my family would help?? But I'm so worried about what to expect and maybe I'm doing the wrong thing??

OP posts:
Crunchingleaf · 30/04/2023 16:38

Your child is entitled to a relationship with his father so they have to have some contact. It doesn’t have to be 50:50 for them to have a relationship. Realistically an abuser cannot be a good parent as they lack the ability to prioritise the needs of anyone else other than themselves. Things can appear okay when child is small as they are easy to manipulate, but later on child develops a mind of their own.

In terms of housing, childcare, work etc can you manage on your own without support? Your child needs a home and sometimes as a single parent you need a support network to get you on your feet. Personally I moved back home at one stage because I couldn’t find a suitable home within budget to provide a home for my child. Look at your options and see if moving back to family is your only option.

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