Hello, can i have any advice please?
We have been divorced for over 5 years.
A bit of a back story, Last year my ds dad brought him his first football season ticket for a team where dad lives. (Div 3 team) we live 40mins away.
ds who was 15 at the time said "dad said its not worth the money unless i go to every game, can i go"
I said "although it means you'll be going to a game when its not contact weekend you are getting old enough to make your own choices and next may/June i just ask you think about it clashing with GCSES."
I wasnt really going to stop him as its nice that he spends the time with dad just him no siblings.
Recently there's two thing which me and ex have disagreed on, ex has started to take ds to more football game midweek that is not on contact day. It includes Premier games so ds is really happy to go. Me and ex don't talk or if i text ex he doesn't answer so all communication is through ds,
I have no problem with ds going.
The first time was a div 3 home game, ds told me he was going to a game on Tuesday but I thought it was during half term so i said ok he can go, i should have checked the date but I took ds word. During half term i spoke about ds not being home on the Tuesday, he said he wasn't going and denied all knowledge of going to a game.
A week later on the Monday ds said dads picking me up 2mo after school, i reminded him of the conversation a week before and he denied not knowing anything and just said i confused him. He said its a home game so will home at 11.
Ive been doing overtime at work and have been doing full time hours so i need to go bed at ten. I said to ds that if this is a common thing can he needs to sort out if he's going to be late after 11 at the most that he needs to stay over at his dads and his dad take him to school. His dad said he cant take him to school and told ds why cant he have a key and let himself in after ive gone to be bed.
Ds told me this and I said I don't agree. (ds has a key for leaving and coming home after school)
Ds has told me his dad has got him tickets to a Prem game in a couple of weeks and its two or three hours away I asked ds if he's sorted out transport and if hes staying over at his dads, he said whatever you say im going anyway!
Second thing Fast forward to today, (i knew ds was going to a local home game its a Saturday and kick off is at 3pm so i didn't get speak to him about times of being picked up, dropped off. )
Ds came to me and said his dads not taking him home today and asked if im picking him up or meeting half way. I said to ds i didn't know i was doing anything. I thought your dad would bring you home.
Instead of ds being in the middle i texted ex why cant he bring him home and he said recently in mediation we agreed to share transport.
I said the "shared transport is only on court contact days."
Ds is 16 now and we have been told by the court that the court order doesn't apply to ds once he turns 16.
Ds said ex is coming to get him but he doesn't know how he is coming home. but ex might bring him home 2mo.
When ex turned up ds said to me i need to check if I'm staying over.
DS went to his dads car, my front door was open but i stood there not seen by ex but I could hear them talking and ex told ds that hes cross that i think its for his dads benefit but his dad is taking him to a football game for his sons choice so he doesnt understand why ive not been sharing the transport to games and there are times when his dad is not going to pick him up so because of me not taking him or sharing the transport ds is missing out and its my fault!
I dont know what to do, his dad brought him the season ticket and all this time i thought it was nice for my son to spend time with his dad. Now im being blamed and i feel ive been spoken about badly behind my back.
His dad has been picking up dropping off without issue before.
Also i felt bad for ds to be told his dads only taking him as my ds likes football as ex and ex family are big into football and ex have been a supporter for a long time.
Ive waffled on now, so should i let let ds come home himself after ive gone to bed at a unknown time on a school night? Going back on what ive said.
I do have a problem with ds going to a game closer to his GCSE time but over the last 6 months ds got his predicted grades and said its happy with them so hes not interested in school anymore so staying out late on a school night it doesnt matter!
The last few weeks ds has said that he is looking at a college where his dads lives so plans to move out in September.