I am not a parent and manage a seriously debilitating mental health condition. I am a female in my thirties who moved into a house share a couple of years ago and got together with my housemate, who has a 12 year old son that stays half the week. They have a healthy father-son relationship and share a lot of laughs. But they are also so so different and my partner really struggles sometimes to engage with him. I want to help but quite often this is prevented by poor mental health and the inability to help can compound the shame of mental illness. Today, I have been working standard business hours from home. My partner usually teaches but his lessons were cancelled and his son had an inset day. My partner did nothing all day and his son has been gaming for over 13 hours straight. Refused lunch and came down to eat tea for 10 minutes. My partner just permits this behaviour to avoid an argument. As an addicted gamer, his son often flat out refuses to go out.
As an older dad, my partner doesn't have any friends with 12 year old children, neither do I.
Whilst I empathise significantly with my partner struggling to bond with his son sometimes, I am not OK with allowing a child to game without a break for that length of time. The effects on dopamine, physical and mental health are a real concern. But at the same time, he needs support and I cannot provide this.
Any advice would be appreciated beyond measure! Thanks