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Should I contact the father even though he is falsely accusing me

13 replies

Anon56 · 19/04/2023 01:49

Hi everyone. My partner left me when I was 8 months pregnant. I phoned him a couple of weeks later and he accused me of harassment as I had messaged his mother and sister once and him a 4 times asking him why and that I was heartbroken and could he text back. I have since had my baby and I am trying to get on with my being a good mum. He has made no contact with me except a letter from police accusing me of sending him junk mail from different companies (which is completely not true). I want my baby to grow up happy and healthy and would like advice on whether I should contact him to see if he wants to be part of the baby’s life. However I am scared that if I contact him he will see it as harressment and contact the police again. Or should I wait for him to contact me? I just don’t want my baby to accuse me of stopping any relationship with their father but don’t want to open myself up to more anxiety and stress on top of being a single parent to a newborn. Thanks!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 19/04/2023 01:53

Not a chance. He doesn’t want to hear from you and knows where you are if he changes his mind.

EllandRd · 19/04/2023 02:28

Absolutely not, he is a dick and he knows it.

Coyoacan · 19/04/2023 02:38

Congratulations on your baby. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

pinkunicorns54 · 19/04/2023 03:14

I know someone who sent a letter to the father of their child asking whether they wanted a relationship etc and took a copy in case on the future the child asked about their father... they did it once only, as far as I'm aware!

strawberryseed · 19/04/2023 03:21

He knows you have had his baby. Nothing necessary for you to do now. Why open yourself up to his abuse and accusations? I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Billybagpuss · 19/04/2023 03:48

Put in the CMS claim and do not put him on the birth certificate.

congratulation’s on your baby 💐

DifficultBloodyWoman · 19/04/2023 04:31

Put in a claim for CMS. Now. It cannot be backdated. If he wants to get in touch, he will.

OhcantthInkofaname · 19/04/2023 06:49

Do not personally contact him.

shintyminty · 19/04/2023 06:54

Don't contact him. He's made his position clear

Do go through CMS for child maintenance.

Peapodburgundybouquet · 19/04/2023 07:28

Stop. This man will not bring anything good into your or your baby’s lives.

He’s worthless.

piedbeauty · 19/04/2023 08:38

Not a chance. Claim CMS and ignore him.

Anon56 · 20/04/2023 03:24

Thanks for all the advice. I am so worried about the whole thing. I don’t know why he will do next. I just don’t want my baby to turn round one day and say I didn’t give the father a chance to have a relationship. However if I do contact him I fear it will open me up to more of his mind games and cause me a lot of stress and anxiety, more than it’s doing already. I’m having to go to counselling due to the amount of stress and anxiety he has caused. I want to enjoy my baby and being a new mum but he is always in the back of my mind.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 20/04/2023 22:23

pinkunicorns54 · 19/04/2023 03:14

I know someone who sent a letter to the father of their child asking whether they wanted a relationship etc and took a copy in case on the future the child asked about their father... they did it once only, as far as I'm aware!

This would be the reason I would do it.
Just for the baby in the future.

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