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Original poster

Child arrangement order advice

11 replies

Forrestina · 12/04/2023 12:10

Hi, my ex has applied for child arrangement order for our son age 12 as he wants something fixed in place. He currently has him one evening a week for a couple of hours and then every second weekend and this is how he wants to keep it.

I have 2 questions really. Firstly, I want him to have our son half of all school holidays but he's refused, saying he will help look for alternative childcare but that due to work he can't have him for this length of time. If I tell the court that I want school holidays to be shared with my ex will the court enforce it and make him look after him?

Also, my ex wants drop off/pick up to be in a mutual place (I don't like him coming to the door so he waits down the road in his car for our son). Will the judge agree to his request for this?

I have no idea how these things work so any information on the process will be great. Do I actually have to attend court?

Thanks

OP posts:
Facem81 · 12/04/2023 12:13

100% no they can not and will not “force” a parent to have a child

TheFormidableMrsC · 12/04/2023 12:13

You can ask for all of those things but it is ultimately down to the judge. They won't force him to do anything and I am wondering why he's applied? Yes you have to attend.

Facem81 · 12/04/2023 12:13

And why would you even want to force it?

Facem81 · 12/04/2023 12:16

Everything he has suggested sounds reasonable

does he pay maintenance

Facem81 · 12/04/2023 12:17

And he wants to go to court OP to fix arrangements.

Presumably you have changed things around when you have fancied?

Dartsplayer · 12/04/2023 12:23

You can't force a parent to parent. Even with a CAO if he decides not to take up his contact time, you can't make him. You, however, will have to make the DC available in his contact time regardless or you will be in breach

Original poster
Forrestina · 12/04/2023 12:32

Thabks for your replies that's really helpful.

Any idea how long it will take before a CAO is issued?

OP posts:
LK8851 · 09/01/2024 23:22

This is a long one please bear with me 😫my daughter and her partner split when my grandchild was 5 months old . The minute that baby was born he changed , he didn't help my daughter , he was verbally abusive towards her and my grandchild . Calling my grandchild a special c...t , telling her to shut the f..k up at 3 weeks old whilst my daughter tended to her . My daughter contacted women's aid to see what advice they could give . Her ex was harassing her etc she informed the police , he threatened he could take the baby whenever he wanted so she stopped all contact , it was making her so poorly , her life had been turned upside down she was now a single mum , she saw her gp who said she had PND , no haha she had an abusive partner who gave no support whatsoever . Her ex took her to court , he got an hour a week supervised , then back to court he now has her 4 hours twice a week supported . Cafcass have basically said my daughters PND is to blame for how my grandchild was , she had delayed emotional development etc due to what she was subject to by her father ! The language he used towards my grandchild has been passed off as a joke !!! They are in court again end of this week and I'm so scared that he is going to get 50/50 which he has gone for , how the hell can this be right ? My daughter left that relationship to protect her child and could end up having to hand her over to her father for 3 nights a week , any advice pls anybody . I feel ill with it all , I worry for my grandchild who's only 18 months old she's very subdued when she comes back from spending time with him , she co sleeps with my daughter too and has done since she was 6 months old . I also worry about my daughter too she's been through enough . Any advice greatly appreciated

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/01/2024 23:39

@LK8851 I'm sorry you're going through this with your family. You will get far more advice if you start your own thread. Try the legal boards. Maybe @MNHQ can move this post? Good luck.

rainbowsparkle28 · 09/01/2024 23:48

Court may be in person or virtual you will have to confirm in your specific case but yes you will need to participate. Re. "enforcing" the order you may bring the matter back to the court known as enforcing it from what I understand but ultimately they cannot physically make someone do something unfortunately including having contact (unless you are expecting the judge to physically do it themselves and remain there throughout 🙄) Re. the place for handover location, I don't see why they wouldn't be amendable to this if it works for you already and is reasonable for both parties and DC.

LK8851 · 09/01/2024 23:53

Oh thankyou , I didn't realise I hadn't done my own thread haha . I've only just joined so don't have a clue what I'm doing . Thankyou though il try again x

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