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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Do you buy a present for your kids to give to their dad?

24 replies

Shout · 14/02/2008 16:45

Its my exH birthday in a few days, I have no idea what he would want for his birthday( I know he hates getting clothes). What should I spend for my 2 ds to give him they are 9 and 4.

OP posts:

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Scramble · 14/02/2008 16:49

A box or celebrations or quality street out of their pocket money.

TBH I wouldn't get anything more than a box of chocs for him from the kids, perhaps give then a fiver and let them decide if they don't have pocket money saved up.

nutcracker · 14/02/2008 16:53

For xp's birthday this year, I took a pic of the kids, printed it out on normal paper, and stuck it in a frame which was £1.49 in the sale at Superdrug.

I don't mind having to pay for it, as I don't think the kids should have to really, but at the same time, I spend as little as poss.

Aimsmum · 14/02/2008 16:54

Message withdrawn

brightwell · 14/02/2008 17:06

In the early days I used to, usually chocs
& a cd, or a t-shirt but got fed up with him not doing the same for me when it was Mother's day, Christmas & my birthday, so I stopped it. But dc are now 13 & 10 and they have their own pocket money so dd usually gets him something, a cheap dvd & chocs.

ArchiesMama · 14/02/2008 17:10

i would of....but my birthday was monday and he didnt.....but my mum and best mate did instead!

Original poster

Shout · 14/02/2008 17:56

Thanks girls.

As he hates chocolate(???) and downloads his music I have decided to give a book token and card from the two of them and a alittle birthday cake with candle ( more for kids benefit), then see what he does in future.

OP posts:

gillybean2 · 15/02/2008 17:39

Would suggest you get the children to make him something. As well as making a birthday card and they could draw a picture or get a simple craft kit where they can make a photo frame and put a picture of them in it, air dry clay to make him a model or something similar. It shouldn't cost too much and they are kept busy with an activity. Yellowmoon.org.uk have lots of cheap kits. Nothing beats that homemade gift and it's the thought that counts after all.

Otherwise give them a couple of pounds each and let them choose. I remember getting my gran a shower cap one year because that's all the money i had. No idea if she ever used it, but i remember putting a lot of thought into what to spend my £1 on in superdrug!

shelleylou · 16/02/2008 01:43

I see if ex gets something from ds to give me, looks like he wont be getting a birthday pressie still aint had 1 and that was in decemeber. I dont mind getting a present from son but im not going to do it if the sentiment isnt returned, arent i glad that mothers day comes before fathers day hehe

PurpleOne · 16/02/2008 02:29

Shout, you are brave!

My dd's spent tons of money one year on birthday gifts. He met another woman who converted him, hence no gifts for xmas or even birthdays for us!

So no, they don't do anything now, cause they made him father day card 2 years ago, and he threw it back in their faces and ripped it up in front of them....bastard. S he gets nothing.

Original poster

Shout · 17/02/2008 15:56

PurpleOne, How awful for a father to do that to his own children. No wonder you don't bother.

OP posts:

Nymphadora · 17/02/2008 16:36

His mum does his and my mam does mine!

allgonebellyup · 17/02/2008 18:27

yes, just little things they choose like teddies or even a cd.
For my b-day i got a huge posh bouquet of flowers from Interflora and huge box of chocs sent from my ex dh on behalf of the kids.

WiiMii · 17/02/2008 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyfantastico · 18/02/2008 02:41

I was planning on getting something for xh's birthday from my dds but he's just ignored mine totally.
He rang up the day before to tell me i need to give him some information and rang 4 days after to moan about me not getting round to giving him the info, not a mention of my birthday at all.
It's mothers day too before his birthday, so maybe he'll spare a thought then for the woman who is raising his kids on her own. Or maybe not

shelleylou · 19/02/2008 19:54

I know that scenario mummyfantastico. My ex mentioned mothers day so i asked him if he could bring ds bacck earlier got an annoyed why for a respose. hmm Why do you think its mothers day and i want to spend some time with my son. Doubt ill get anything told me he dont think he can afford a potty for that weekend . O well works both ways

goingbonkers · 19/02/2008 21:32

I sent a home made handprint card to my exP from my DD when she was tiny. (I actually put a lot of effort in to make it special, and put a photo in as well). A week later it was mothers day and guess what? Nothing. Needless to say he hasn't had anything since. He hasn't even sent her a Birthday card for the last 2 years and she's only 3!!!!

WiiMii · 19/02/2008 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistressmiggins · 19/02/2008 22:10

I dont buy for exH & he doesnt buy for me.

My mum takes my DCs to buy me mother's day & bday which they choose.
My exH GF buys presents from the kids for my ex.

Reason?
GF was choosing presents for me which were cheap & not my taste (and not exH either) so I felt it was silly doing it.

works out much better in my house as no resentment or wasted presents

shelleylou · 20/02/2008 00:45

wiimii i see your point but i think it should be something that should go both ways. IMO if ex cant be bothered to get something for ds 2 give me why should i take the time and put thought into it for him. Each to their own i say

madamez · 20/02/2008 00:55

Purpleone, anyone who rips up a card the DC made for him is a pretty disgusting human being. My sympathies to you and your DC.

ShakeysGirl · 20/02/2008 02:12

I make sure i get exdh something nice for bday, xmas and fathers day as he is a fantastic dad, adores his children and deserves some recognision for all the time and effort he puts in helping raise our children. And the kids love giving him a gift too. Neither of us have alot of money but its the thought that counts. Sometimes the boys will come home with cakes they have baked with daddy for dp and i etc. Its my way of saying i still appreciate him and what he does as a father.

WiiMii · 20/02/2008 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shelleylou · 20/02/2008 18:54

if ds asks to i wont say no ur dads a prick far from it, ill give him a few quid to chose something. I will leave it to ds to decide when hes older but for now ill play it by ear. Starting to think other wise do like the idea of being the bigger person lol. I think its a lesson a child should learn from both parents. I said the thought cos its the sort of person i am i try and find something whether it be from myself or ds that the reciepiant will really like and appreciate. I surpose the simple answer is a few photos of dc, cheap, appreciated and can alwaysprint omore off for yourself.

charlotte121 · 23/02/2008 21:36

I dont wanna stand up for the men here as theyre pricks but i think its a guy thing. Even if me and my ex were still together he wouldnt think to buy me a mothersday card from my son. I dnt think it crosses most mens brains. I wouldnt take it personally... and i for sure wouldnt want anything from my ex neway!

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