Creating your own “village”

[Ruthfulmum]

I have relocated to start a new life. I am a lone parent to toddler and also work 9am-4pm. I don’t have family around and would like to start building friendships in my new community as it can be lonely at times with just ds and I.

The other issue that compounds the loneliness is that I have stopped calling my parents and brother’s family just to see if they would try taking the initiative to call me, I am the one who initiates calls and for some reason it makes me feel more lonely. It’s been 10 weeks now and no sign of contact from them. I sent a message about 8 weeks ago saying if you ever what to chat give us a buzz, no buzz yet. I always feel like I bother them with my weekend calls so I thought to stop and see if the would “miss” us and call but nah.

I want start focusing on building “family”where I am with older people that can be grandparents to my ds and a couple of aunties. Not yet keen on dating. I know it will take time and I just want ideas as to how to go about it, mums groups or join a church or something. Has anyone been in a similar situation or anyone has suggestions? 😊

Well done you for taking that big step to improve your life.

Church would be a good place to start, join all coffee mornings and meet ups that are listed. What about neighbours? Invite them all over one weekend to break the ice. Talk to other parents at childcare to see who you gel with, invite others over for play dates..

Its tough to make new friends but as you never know who you will gel with you need to put yourself out there and talk to everyone.

You'll be waiting a long time for that phone to ring! Good on you seeking out an alternative family. I'm doing much the same, surrounding myself with people I feel a connection with who've got my back. Likewise I have theirs! I left an abusive marriage and started all over again, those people that stepped up and helped me are people I'll never forget. The irony was my own family (brothers and sister) who all live within an hours drive didn't even know I'd left the martial home .. start with coffee morning meet ups in your new area, see who you connect with. Speak with parents in the school playground and see what that brings you. Most of all embrace your new beginning 🤩

Thank you so so much!!! OMG, just exactly what I needed from you guys. Reassurance and confirmation that I am on the right path. My heart aches sometimes when I feel like I am all alone but I know that I am going to thrive. I will definitely be doing those coffee mornings and parents at daycare. I was about to book therapy sessions but that costs and having responses like these ones are just refreshing to the soul.
Thank you HelloDaisy for your wise words.
Thank you rockingbird for sharing your experience, like yourself, left abuse and uninterested family. You both have given me hope and I am looking forward to a great future in a new place building a family for myself and son 🤩 🏃🏽‍♀️