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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Dating as a lone parent

18 replies

Loveyou3000 · 07/04/2023 11:49

Does anyone actually manage it or should I wait until she's a teenager?

DD is 7, all offers of support and help dried up long ago. People love to watch them as babies and toddlers but not so much when they're actual children.

I'd really like to get married and have another baby but aware time is not on my side.

Was asked out but a very nice man but just couldn't sort the childcare, local babysitters are charging £15 an hour and I just don't earn enough for that on a regular basis. Should I abandon all hope or is there a magical solution for this?

Crushingly lonely with only a small person to talk to all day. Have tried making more friends too to no avail.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 07/04/2023 11:51

No idea op. Sorry.

SocialLite · 07/04/2023 11:51

I was lucky to find someone self employed who could choose his own working hours so we had daytime dates.

Original poster
Loveyou3000 · 07/04/2023 12:17

@SocialLite unfortunately I work full time so couldn't even do that. All my holiday is taken during term time to lessen the cost of childcare too. I literally never have time to myself, either working or with my daughter, going a bit stir crazy in general

OP posts:
Original poster
Loveyou3000 · 07/04/2023 12:18

Could potentially do evening dates at mine but a) seems dangerous and b) don't want the possibility of her waking up and coming downstairs as definitely don't want to introduce her to different people or new people early on

OP posts:
Ilikepinacoladass · 07/04/2023 13:57

I find it really hard too. I have 6hrs each Saturday daytime free, and some evenings could get family to babysit, but I'm so exhausted from work etc don't have the energy to go on dates! I've done it a bit, one guy was nice but in the end I just couldn't give him enough of my time. I feel like it would need to be someone who lives really nearby, and who maybe has kids, so they understand what it's like. But don't want to be with someone just for convenience. It feels really difficult.

OhMyCherriePie · 07/04/2023 22:13

No chance for me I have 4 so no one will have them. Been celibate for 6 years 😓 only possible if they go to the dads a lot (my ex isn’t involved) or you have very hands on family

NeedSleepNow · 14/04/2023 11:02

No chance for me either. I have 3 between the ages of 6 and 13 and no one wants to look after them all for more than an hour or 2, their Dad doesn't have them all to stay at the same time and I couldn't really afford to go on a date as I never have any spare money! I think I am destined to be on my own for a long long time but at the moment I am quite happy being single and I would never want to share my home with anyone other than my children again!

Pumpling · 14/04/2023 16:03

My mum has been a single parent for 14 years and hasn't managed to date. I've just come out of a long term relationship with a 3 month old and I don't think I'll be getting into another one for a good 10+ years, if ever. I don't know many single mums who get much time for dating either to be honest, but it's definitely doable if you have supportive family/friends who could watch baby while on dates. Just not something I could do I don't think but it's very early days yet

coodawoodashooda · 14/04/2023 17:01

Pumpling · 14/04/2023 16:03

My mum has been a single parent for 14 years and hasn't managed to date. I've just come out of a long term relationship with a 3 month old and I don't think I'll be getting into another one for a good 10+ years, if ever. I don't know many single mums who get much time for dating either to be honest, but it's definitely doable if you have supportive family/friends who could watch baby while on dates. Just not something I could do I don't think but it's very early days yet

I just thought that today too.

Flojo1979 · 14/04/2023 17:04

yeah its hard but it doesn’t get any easier with teens. I used to pay a babysitter and then get stood up etc it was annoying but I stuck it out and now my kids are teens and we’ve been together 4 years but it’s not easy.

Ilikepinacoladass · 14/04/2023 17:43

This is not giving me much hope, it's quite depressing thinking the chances of finding someone might pretty much be over now because I have a child :-(

MintJulia · 14/04/2023 18:26

You could try pairing up with another single mum and swap babysitting for each other.

Ilikepinacoladass · 14/04/2023 18:56

MintJulia · 14/04/2023 18:26

You could try pairing up with another single mum and swap babysitting for each other.

Just wondering how would this work, do you mean babysitting in the daytime?

MintJulia · 14/04/2023 19:01

One mum looks after dcs on a Friday evening, the other on a Saturday evening.

Each mum gets an evening out.

Ilikepinacoladass · 14/04/2023 19:06

Oh ok, so they'd sleep over at the other Mum's house?

Ilikepinacoladass · 14/04/2023 19:06

Sounds like a good idea in theory but a fair amount of faff to be doing sleepovers etc

coodawoodashooda · 14/04/2023 21:14

Flojo1979 · 14/04/2023 17:04

yeah its hard but it doesn’t get any easier with teens. I used to pay a babysitter and then get stood up etc it was annoying but I stuck it out and now my kids are teens and we’ve been together 4 years but it’s not easy.

Did you meet in 'real life'? I genuinely can't imagine

Flojo1979 · 15/04/2023 11:04

Can’t imagine what? Dating? Lots of people manage it but it drains time and money and takes a lot of commitment to keep at it after strings of crappy dates

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