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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

How do lone parents do evening hobbies?

28 replies

Crumbcatcher · 01/04/2023 18:29

I'd really like to get back to doing hobbies and taking time for myself. My DC are young primary age so I can't leave them alone. If I went out for eg an hour long class I'd need a babysitter for two hours and I don't think DC would go to sleep anyway (SN). How do people afford to do anything? Ironically during lockdown I had a good social life online but now things have returned to normal I'm feeling really stuck in the house and now the evenings are lighter I want to go out! Even a walk would be freedom I just don't have. All ideas welcome!

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rockingbird · 01/04/2023 18:55

I'm baffled by this.. I have no childcare and I'm in the same boat as you! I guess I'd need a childminder / sitter 🤷🏼‍♀️ I've never left them!

OnATrolley · 01/04/2023 18:56

If you can't afford a babysitter could you offer to do some regular childcare/ school pick up/ drop off etc for a friend who could then babysit for you in return- providing they have a partner to look after their own children.

elizzza · 01/04/2023 19:00

Do you have any friends you could do a babysitting exchange with? Obviously as a lone parent you can’t do an evening babysitting in exchange, but you could offer to have their kids on a eg Saturday afternoon instead?

Bloodyhelldog · 01/04/2023 19:04

Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? I work remotely so go to the gym in the morning and then make up my hours in the evening but it's not like a social hobby. More just ensuring I don't go insane.

Original poster
Crumbcatcher · 01/04/2023 19:15

Thanks for the ideas. I think friends who are in couples just don't have the same need for childcare as they can afford wraparound, can do hobbies individually and have two incomes so can afford a babysitter if they go out together. I love my DC but I'm starting to feel life is passing me by!

OP posts:
mumyes · 01/04/2023 19:16

I would pay for the babysitter and do some stuff otherwise it gets v lonely.

Also, can you do some stuff for you during the day? I had to re-calibrate that 9-5 didn't only mean work after my LO started school. I fit fun stuff in (exercise, coffee with pals, the odd massage etc) during the day time around work when I can. But my work is v flexible (self employed mainly). Makes a world of difference.

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magneticmoon · 01/04/2023 19:32

I don't. I haven't for 10 years. Yes life passes you by.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 01/04/2023 19:37

I just don't take on regular evening commitments in the week - it's too difficult and expensive to cover childcare. I use my favours and swaps and babysitting budget for Friday/Saturday nights, monthly book club and odd leaving dos or fundraising events. I have nothing left over for hobbies unfortunately.

sanityisamyth · 01/04/2023 19:40

I don't! DS is always busy after school so I sit in the car and wait for him ... it's an exciting life.

coodawoodashooda · 01/04/2023 19:40

I have no idea.

thelengthspeoplegoto · 01/04/2023 20:01

Do you have any lone parent friends? Set up a babysitting group?

DeeCeeCherry · 01/04/2023 20:15

I did stuff indoors once the DCs were settled and asleep. Needs must - sometimes as a Mum you simply can't do something and have to let it slide for a while. I learned Belly Dance via YouTube. No need for thinking about babysitter, outfit, travel etc. I probably looked a mess jumping around but nobody to see so who cares. When DCs got older I went out to do classes and I'm still good at it. I also did cardio and weights at home, again via YouTube. Just short routines and never same ones, mixed it up. All good fun and kept me fit and energised

MissMaple82 · 01/04/2023 20:19

You don't!

SpinningFloppa · 01/04/2023 20:20

I don’t. I wouldn’t leave mine with a babysitter I didn’t know.

Original poster
Crumbcatcher · 01/04/2023 20:47

Thanks everyone, at least I'm not alone! I think online is the best option, I will see what I can find.

OP posts:
parrotonthesofa · 01/04/2023 21:44

I don't! Not even on my own by dp works long hours and one dc is disabled so baby sitter too complicated so I have.basically just given up on the idea. I tried at one point but it was just more stress than it was worth which defeated the purpose. Might try again in a few years but have accepted it really.

Zippedydoo123 · 23/04/2023 15:07

You wait until they are 13 then you could pop out for an hour or so e.g. A job swim or exercise class.

Though the official age is really 15 for a full evening out.

Bemyclementine · 23/04/2023 15:09

I don't. Dc are 6 and 7. I have a way to go before they can be left.

Zippedydoo123 · 23/04/2023 15:10

They say sitters co uk is good but I could never afford it. They are dbs checked and often childminders looking to increase their income when e.g. their e.g. Returns home from his job

Donotgogentle · 23/04/2023 15:11

Zippedydoo123 · 23/04/2023 15:07

You wait until they are 13 then you could pop out for an hour or so e.g. A job swim or exercise class.

Though the official age is really 15 for a full evening out.

There’s no official age legally speaking. What are you referring to here?

NoraLuka · 23/04/2023 15:14

I didn’t when the DC were young. I used to read, draw or watch TV while thinking about everyone else’s exciting lives. The DC are older now and I can do a lot more but have never totally got rid of the fear of missing out!

Namechange224422 · 23/04/2023 15:19

I work part time/flexible hours so use some daytime hours for exercise. In the evenings I invite people to mine so that I don’t have to pay for a babysitter!!!!

WazzleEuuu · 23/04/2023 15:24

Check around and see what family activities there are if you were interested

My dance class let's you bring your children and they can sit on the seats & watch, join in or colour in/ go on their tablets

My self defence class is family based so you can train alongside your children

Zippedydoo123 · 27/04/2023 05:29

Donotgogentle · 23/04/2023 15:11

There’s no official age legally speaking. What are you referring to here?

Show quote history

I agree there is no official age but I am going by what people used to tell me ie from age 15 you can have a full evening out.

Donotgogentle · 27/04/2023 05:40

Zippedydoo123 · 27/04/2023 05:29

I agree there is no official age but I am going by what people used to tell me ie from age 15 you can have a full evening out.

Show quote history

It depends on the child what appropriate supervision is required. Government guidance uses age 12 as an indicator.

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

I was certainly leaving DS for a full evening out by age 13.

The law on leaving your child on their own

The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it's an offence to leave a child alone if it puts them at risk

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone