Some advice please. Maybe I am cutting my nose of but my ex oertner never pays on the 1st of the month like we agreed I always have to chase and yes he apologises, his girlfriend claims he doesn't earn that much but as a trainee lawyer who's worked at the firm a few years doing more than 40 hours a week I am sure he earns at least minimum wage.
Currently pays £185 a month which isn't bad but this hasn't gone up in years! I stopped CMS as he believed that they didn't give w fair figure which tbf back then they said he should pay £20 a month less.
Thing is cost of everything has gone up, so his maintenance should to. We have moved closer now (literally a 5 minute walk) and he doesn't see him anymore than he did before hand! Am I being unfair if I was to make a new CMS claim because I am sick of chasing him and it feels like a power thing or could it just make it worse. I wouldn't want to push it to him seeing the kid more to pay less because my son wouldn't Cope with that. Problem is iver the last few years the step mother to be is more and more opinated, and basically rules the roost and the decisions they make regarding my son. That is a while seperate post as she Infuriates the crap out of me. I just want to non judgmental advice as it's harder asking family who would evidently be on my side.
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singlemumhelp · 01/04/2023 11:22
singlemumhelp · 01/04/2023 12:38
@honeybunsleo unfortunately he goes back and discusses every conversation with his gf as then he will say whatever she wants. His job has since changed and he is now also over 25 so on the bigger minimum wage. With what I have been told by his family it would be a extra £45 ish a month.
He currently has him every other weekends. But I have to pay the after school club where she picks him up from so then his dad doesn't have to come meet me to do drop off. Ans then he comes home at 3 on Sunday. So they only feed him Saturday evening I do everything else as he gets fed at after school xlub. Living a 5 minute walk away instead of a 20 minute journey would make you think he would want to see him more but he doesn't.
I could cope without the money it's the principle, but they also always tell our son that I'm not poor, I can afford it anyways and that if he wants something to ask me. I work 3 jobs and work my ass off, use some of the other child's DLA for treats for both the kids as they both go through it, family often gift money for our holidays etc. it just infuriates me how they think they can get away with bare minimum, but it's just is it worth even more arguing to go through csa.
rockingbird · 02/04/2023 13:05
I'm thinking the same, as much as I don't want to go down that route! He's a business owner and very good at hiding money so no doubt will pull a fast one on me. It's like being belittled asking for money to provide for your children 'which they also brought into this world'..! I'd happily not take a penny if he'd just bugger off 😉 he won't though.. sadly I never saw myself in this position 12 years on but I also wasn't the one to live a double life whilst working overseas. I need to get my big girl pants on and take him to the cleaners but I just don't have the mental strength for that right now.
singlemumhelp · 02/04/2023 12:42
@rockingbird it really is. My mum has recommended that I perhaps say I know csa are doing annual reviews and as we haven't reviewed it for so long now that perhaps we need to either negotiate or go through csa. I just had how he makes me fear asking the question xx
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singlemumhelp · 02/04/2023 12:42
@rockingbird it really is. My mum has recommended that I perhaps say I know csa are doing annual reviews and as we haven't reviewed it for so long now that perhaps we need to either negotiate or go through csa. I just had how he makes me fear asking the question xx
rockingbird · 03/04/2023 10:01
@taxpayer1 I'm not going to ask .. what's your beef? I wouldn't at all be surprised if your my eh with that name and attitude- he's been known to stalk me, hack my email, phone and track my car. For that reason today I'll be going incognito!
Popalina65 · 03/04/2023 11:31
I personally let CMS handle our financial affairs. It will be a true reflection of his income and you are well protected. It is reviewed annually and they can place a detachment of earning if necessary. I wouldn't worry about his new gf..... she sounds like she needs her wings clipped and this will do it.
Honestly, it's the best thing I ever did.
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