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Lone parents

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Original poster

What do you do on the weekends?

9 replies

ilikeeggs · 25/03/2023 17:28

Strange question I guess but I’ve been a single parent for 4 weeks now since my ex left me and I’m finding the weekends really hard,
We used to always be out doing family stuff at the weekend but now it’s like I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a car right now as he took it so that doesn’t help.
He is due to have them overnight next weekend for the first time and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t have many friends and I would only normally see them in the week as they are busy at the weekends.
what does everyone else normally do when you don’t have the kids?

OP posts:
Defenders · 26/03/2023 00:03

You can do what ever you want. Is it for one or two nights? I would say make a plan during the week. Think about where you can go on public transport while you don't have a car. Are you hoping to get one? It's not easy but I would find something that I would enjoy and would keep me focused.

SpinningFloppa · 26/03/2023 00:04

I have mine full time so don’t get weekends “off” but if I did I would sleep, clean, do things I can’t do when the kids are around, meet friends, find a hobby, date (too early for you but I’ve been single for 6 years so…) you don’t really have to ‘do’ anything just enjoy the break 😊

LittleCrackers · 26/03/2023 00:44

I knew I would find it hard so I distracted myself with DIY and redecorating (never had the urge before but just found it was a good distraction). I would often be found up a ladder or painting a wall around midnight even when the DC were home, but I couldn't sleep due to the stress.

I slowly learned to relax into things, and when I needed it I sometimes just used the time to relax and re-energise, ready for the next hectic week.

I hope you are OK OP Flowers

Original poster
ilikeeggs · 26/03/2023 08:39

Thanks all. I feel like I should be doing something but maybe I’ll just end up sleeping and watching tv! I know I’m going to really struggle with them out having fun with their dad when I’m normally with them too :(

OP posts:
Defenders · 26/03/2023 15:09

That sounds like a good plan. You can always pop back here for a chat with us.

littlerayofsunshine0 · 26/03/2023 23:10

Just wanted to hop on to say I feel your dread. Ex left me 6 months ago. We were together 20yrs. Have 2 small kids but he went and knocked up a younger woman within 2 weeks of leaving here. Takes kids every other weekend and since Jan now has the new gf round our kids every minute of his "quality time" with them.... So it's a really awful situation for me when they go to their dad's. As I know when they come home the talk is about how fun dad and the new gf is. Very hard to cope with as I'm finding the whole breakup hard to deal with as I never seen it coming. For the first few months I couldn't even stay in the house, it was lonely without them and like you I was broken knowing we used to do stuff every weekend with the kids together. It's been a hard transition for me to say the least.
I've recently took into diy like another member mentioned simply just as a distraction and the gym to try and focus on something else while kids aren't with me and he has them off playing happy families with another woman. The man ripped my world apart.

I'm 6 months in and still find it hard op. Other ppl tell u to make the most of ur kid free time but I can't, it's not the same especially when you find it hard if they are around another person not just your ex!

shiningcuckoo · 27/03/2023 07:18

My kids are 16 now and come and go as they please but when they aren't around at the weekend and if I haven't made arrangements with friends, I garden, cook, go to see a film, draw and paint, go to a pottery studio where I'm a member, read, have a long lie in, have long phone conversations with friends overseas, catch up with work, go swimming, go to a market or local event. I used to go on long walks with the dog but she has passed away now. It's hard in the beginning thinking about the kids hanging out with a new 'family'. I loathed the idea of mine with another woman. But now they are argumentative teenagers I send them to his house with glee where they can slam doors, make a mess and ask for money as much as they want. My son likes to dismantle his moped on their very tidy driveway.

JussathoB · 27/03/2023 08:40

I would choose something to do for myself. I think this is important and maybe you could make yourself a little list of ideas to use. I would probably go out if possible either to the shops for a mooch around or to a bookshop, and have a coffee while out? Or go for a brisk walk around a local park or somewhere scenic, it’s calming out in nature. Listen to favourite music or tv series or read in peace. Eat something you like which the kids don’t. Do an exercise or dance class online or have a lovely bath and pampering session.

Original poster
ilikeeggs · 27/03/2023 20:50

Thank you all for your advice. I’m thinking maybe it won’t be so bad and at least I can try and do what I want.
He left me for a OW so the hardest thing is going to be when he introduces her to the kids and they do stuff together. Absolutely dreading it.

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