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Divorced and parenting - ex doesn’t do anything

3 replies

namechanged9999 · 19/03/2023 20:15

Ex took me to court and got approx 60/40 (60 in my favour). He sees her every other weekend and some days in between, she’s 5, and since he started seeing her on school nights he hasn’t done homework with her. He sends her to school with homework not done, doesn’t return uniforms etc. We have had to cut down piano lessons which I pay for to once a fortnight because he won’t let her have them on his weekend and teacher can’t do any other day so we can only do every other Saturday when she’s with me. I want to sign her up for dance and he doesn’t agree if it’s in his day (just because) even though I offer to do pick up and drop off and he isn’t seeing her anyway as she is at a play center until 6:30. I said instead of play center let me take her to dance and I will drop her off with you on your day after that. He says no. It’s not infringing on his time as I said she’s at a play center while he works. How do I deal with this it is just hindering my child’s opportunities and he does it to spite me. I feel so bad for my child.

OP posts:
SpinningFloppa · 19/03/2023 20:24

Home work at 5? I wouldn’t do it either

Lefteyetwitch · 19/03/2023 21:02

What opportunities?! She's 5.
I wouldn't do homework and I wouldn't be thrilled at being tied down by more scheduled activities.
You have your time. He has his. You control your time you don't get a say over his.

I'm sure if she's destined to be a world renowned pianist or famous dancer she will make it.

ProseccoOnIce · 21/03/2023 13:04

I have a similar useless ex - won't do homework, doesn't return uniform.

I've coped by disengaging.

I can't control what he does & it's pointless trying any kind of negotiation.

As others have said, I don't have any say in what happens during his contact time & vice versa.

He is showing the DC who he is & they will understand in time & know who puts them first.

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