Ds heading to uni this year. How am I going to cope?

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Ds is off to uni in September. He's moving to another city and staying in halls. I'm excited for him, it's a great uni and a course he will love.

He can get home in 2 hours door-to-door and travel is free by bus so I think/hope he will visit regularly, but I am dreading the empty house.

It's always just been the two of us, no close family or friends. I'm very worried about how I'm going to manage when he's gone. The dog is also going to struggle without her best friend!

If you've been through this, how did you adjust to being alone? Any tips?

This was me last year ! There's a period when it hurts .. and then it gets better .. and then it gets amazing.. I'm at the latter stage but if you had told the sobbing me last year i wouldn't have believed you. Helps Dd is good at keeping in touch. I also took on different routines at weekends to help in the early stages ( Pilates and self study) forced catch ups that I made myself didn't help - ended up getting a bit weepy as sat for a coffee leads to the inevitable chat and I wasn't ready for that ..I honestly can't tell you how the relationship is now not only stronger but better and I'm so pleased to see her flourish ..

Can you start preparing now? Start going (alone) on organised dog walks? Join a book club/ crafting group/ yoga class/ whatever.
Get a routine of going out established so you keep going.

DD hasn't quite reached that age yet but I think I would be filling my time with classes, membership to the local theatre for cheaper evenings out. When your life has revolved around one person for so long it will be strange when that doesn't happen any more.

I'm starting an open university course in October so that will help fill the weekends. I think I do need to find some things to do outside of the house. It doesn't help that we moved country during the covid lockdowns and I've moved jobs again since then, so I don't really feel settled here yet.

This was me too - son now in second year. I was dreading it too and I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s been hard, but sometimes it has been fine. We’re very close too - just the two of us since he was a baby - and we make a good team. I remember the months leading up to that first term as horrible, I was so anxious but hiding it from him (which is really important - I didn’t want him to worry about me nor take the shine off the excitement). I was bereft when he left but like previous posters I went out with friends, tried to keep myself busy and had work - doing an Open University course is a great idea!
I got used to him being away. I made/make a point of enjoying doing things/eating things/watching things I know he doesn’t like! And there are positives- less washing, cheaper food bills, hurrah!
There have been challenging times, especially when he goes back after a holiday when I’ve loved having him back home again. The winter seems to be the worst and I have struggled sometimes but it doesn’t last.
We’re in contact a reasonable amount- phone calls, texts, FaceTime (thank God for tech).
He’s a great lad, I’m really proud of him and we’re just as close as before. He’s coming home tomorrow for the Easter holidays and I can’t wait!
Basically you’ve got this. It’s going to be ok. You’re going to be ok. Big hugs.

This is good to read, my amazing daughter will be off to Uni in a couple of years, I will miss her so much as we are so close but I'm incredibly proud of her and look forward to seeing whst happens next for her.

I can't think about it too much though even though it will be here before I.know it.

I miss my son a lot. But there's also something liberating about not having to think about the next meal and the pile of washing. And video-calling is great.

Good point about hiding the anxiety. We're having a great time at the moment trawling charity shops for kitchen stuff and talking about what next year will be like for ds. He obviously knows I will miss him but I don't think he really understands how different things will be for me once he leaves. Which is good. It's not his problem to worry about.

On a practical level, things will be more difficult too. Ds does half the cooking, more than half the dog walking, and is generally a dream housemate. I will have to start doing everything myself again!

I'm worried about this and I have two and a half years to go and he's my eldest. I need to get a grip before it happens.

My son is off in September as well. We are a tight unit, and I will miss him dreadfully. I am so proud and happy for him as he has had a long, difficult journey to get to this place.
I did start building my life away from him a few years ago though. I have a group of friends who I have breakfast with every week and we also go to the theatre together, I have an allotment and friends up at the site. I go to the gym and started a yoga class this week.
I will be leaving my office job in 10 weeks to become a foster carer so will have someone new to look after.

I have told him I’m getting a life size cardboard figure of him so I can still see him everyday !

Thank you all for your comments. My daughter is off in a few weeks and it's been a huge reassurance that you've all been there and done that.