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Lone parents

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Original poster

CSA question any advice appreciated.

21 replies

indieray · 15/03/2023 20:05

Dp has asked me to ask this question as
It's all new to him!

Just for reference I'm his partner we live together & He is the paying parent his dd7.
back Story is DP and ex been separated for over 5 years and we have his dd7 every weekend. He has paid religiously every month for 5 years through their bank accounts Never late no issues. He's had a message from her mum saying she has applied for CSA/CMO which is fine. But she's said she asked Them to do Collect&Pay which after reading online it says they will
Automatically do direct pay instead of collect and pay at first. It would only change to collect and pay if he misses a payment which he never has. Is this correct ? He would prefer to keep it to direct & pay if possible.
He's also travels very far to collect and take her home every weekend so it's been suggested he can apply for travel costs if necessary but has said he won't at this stage as her mother does no share of travel.
Does anyone have any idea about how collect and pay/direct pay would work in his situation please ?? And advice we appreciate! Thankyou xx

OP posts:
honeybunsleo · 16/03/2023 07:35

Hi, when the case has opened he will receive a letter explaining his liability. He will not be put on collect and pay, this is only if he doesn't mate the first requested payments. From now tell him to stop making payment to her until he receives the first letter. Save that money back in a savings account. What ever payments he's made in the past that isn't under cms do not count until the case is set up. If she wants to go down that route make sure you stop payments and wait for the letter. Cms will also advise to not make payments until their payment plan is set up.

You can apply for travel costs but honestly it's a very small percentage, you can all put children who live under the same roof as you and your partner on the claim as he supports them.
Your liability is reduced due to over night stays you have with the children not the days. So I think it's over 52 nights a year you get a slight reduction.
Cms is messy, it's important to stay on top of everything and check the portal ect often because they are a nightmare so both parents x

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 07:51

From now tell him to stop making payment to her until he receives the first letter.

Seriously dickish move if you do this op.

Why the fuck would/should he stop paying until cms order him to? You've been happy paying until now, zero reason to stop until he gets a letter saying how much is the legal minimum he should contribute to his dc's upbringing.

Utterly cuntish advice.

honeybunsleo · 16/03/2023 08:27

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 07:51

From now tell him to stop making payment to her until he receives the first letter.

Seriously dickish move if you do this op.

Why the fuck would/should he stop paying until cms order him to? You've been happy paying until now, zero reason to stop until he gets a letter saying how much is the legal minimum he should contribute to his dc's upbringing.

Utterly cuntish advice.

Because that's what cms tell you to do, unless you want to give real advice rather than passive aggressive advice your post is pretty pointless.

As the Mother has decided she doesn't want the father to pay directly anymore she wants to deal CMS then they should wait for CMS instruction. This is exactly what will be stated on their letter :)

Facts over pointless advice sweetie pie.

honeybunsleo · 16/03/2023 08:38

indieray · 15/03/2023 20:05

Dp has asked me to ask this question as
It's all new to him!

Just for reference I'm his partner we live together & He is the paying parent his dd7.
back Story is DP and ex been separated for over 5 years and we have his dd7 every weekend. He has paid religiously every month for 5 years through their bank accounts Never late no issues. He's had a message from her mum saying she has applied for CSA/CMO which is fine. But she's said she asked Them to do Collect&Pay which after reading online it says they will
Automatically do direct pay instead of collect and pay at first. It would only change to collect and pay if he misses a payment which he never has. Is this correct ? He would prefer to keep it to direct & pay if possible.
He's also travels very far to collect and take her home every weekend so it's been suggested he can apply for travel costs if necessary but has said he won't at this stage as her mother does no share of travel.
Does anyone have any idea about how collect and pay/direct pay would work in his situation please ?? And advice we appreciate! Thankyou xx

Child maintenance also works in arrears so when the letter comes he will already owe the first liability payment rather than waiting for a first payment if that makes sense

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 13:23

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 07:51

From now tell him to stop making payment to her until he receives the first letter.

Seriously dickish move if you do this op.

Why the fuck would/should he stop paying until cms order him to? You've been happy paying until now, zero reason to stop until he gets a letter saying how much is the legal minimum he should contribute to his dc's upbringing.

Utterly cuntish advice.

Because he will be paying twice. CMS starts from the day the case is open. Don't pay a penny until the payment plan is confirmed.

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 17:16

As long as he can prove that some money is changing hands it counts for CMS purposes - she can't claim he's not paid whatever figure cms come up with if he is paying. And there's zero chance they'll chase him for additional payment if he's already paid.

In the meantime it could be months before cms get their sums right, and the mother is left with zero support for the financial needs of the dc.

Still a very dickish move, sweetie

Original poster
indieray · 16/03/2023 19:32

Thanks for all
Replies. Dp will not be paying her a penny until he gets advice of the correct amount. If she needs anything he will buy for her. If she has to pay her for any back pay he will put the money aside. She unfortunately has shot herself in the foot and chosen this option which she has to unfortunately listen to cms advice like dp and suck it up.

OP posts:
taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 19:38

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 17:16

As long as he can prove that some money is changing hands it counts for CMS purposes - she can't claim he's not paid whatever figure cms come up with if he is paying. And there's zero chance they'll chase him for additional payment if he's already paid.

In the meantime it could be months before cms get their sums right, and the mother is left with zero support for the financial needs of the dc.

Still a very dickish move, sweetie

That is completely false. If you pay without a payment plan, not on the date, not the correct amount, not the correct reference, etc. it will be considered a gift. Don't pay anything.

Undertheoldlindentree · 16/03/2023 19:53

It could just be that the child's mother is applying for a mortgage or other finance. It's really difficult to get maintenance taken into account if it's not through CMS. And of the two options, Direct Pay is considered more secure by some finance providers.

I tried to opt for Direct Pay for similar reasons but was told the same thing. After the assessment, Collect and Pay is the default unless he misses payments.

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 20:11

Undertheoldlindentree · 16/03/2023 19:53

It could just be that the child's mother is applying for a mortgage or other finance. It's really difficult to get maintenance taken into account if it's not through CMS. And of the two options, Direct Pay is considered more secure by some finance providers.

I tried to opt for Direct Pay for similar reasons but was told the same thing. After the assessment, Collect and Pay is the default unless he misses payments.

The default is Direct Pay. Collect and Pay is only used if the paying parent misses a payment.

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 20:18

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 19:38

That is completely false. If you pay without a payment plan, not on the date, not the correct amount, not the correct reference, etc. it will be considered a gift. Don't pay anything.

Show quote history

Wrong. My ex has only ever paid direct, no reference quoted on any payment (both via cms and before they took over our once amicable agreement). Nothing at all to match his payments to CMS.

Do you seriously think OP's dp would be forced to pay twice if he's got evidence via years of bank statements showing regular payments with his ex's details on? And no doubt years of correspondence about the payments? Do you think the cms would entertain a claim that the dp isn't paying whilst they are processing her request?

In the meantime mum has to struggle to pay the ever increasing bills while dad puts the money aside, knowing that he's got to pay it out again anyway?

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 20:20

Can2022getanyworse · 16/03/2023 20:18

Wrong. My ex has only ever paid direct, no reference quoted on any payment (both via cms and before they took over our once amicable agreement). Nothing at all to match his payments to CMS.

Do you seriously think OP's dp would be forced to pay twice if he's got evidence via years of bank statements showing regular payments with his ex's details on? And no doubt years of correspondence about the payments? Do you think the cms would entertain a claim that the dp isn't paying whilst they are processing her request?

In the meantime mum has to struggle to pay the ever increasing bills while dad puts the money aside, knowing that he's got to pay it out again anyway?

Show quote history

It will only happen if you lie and say you haven't received the payments. In your case, you may have not thought about that. Yet!

AviMav · 16/03/2023 20:28

Had there been a dispute OP because the majority of mothers are not just going to call CMS for no reason are they??

It could be that the child's father is not paying enough and she wants to be aware of his earnings as you get a yearly review. Mum has not "shot herself in the foot".

I too reported DS dad to CMS (he paid on time always) however there's no bloody wonder.... he was short changing me!! As his earnings increased. CMS is better long term...

OurCrazyHouseIsFullOfLove · 16/03/2023 20:33

Go on the child maintenance calculator and get a guide figure.
It will be based on his annual income of 2021 to 2022 ( as we're not yet in a new financial year)
And yes put in a variation for travel etc

My ex did with me. And rightly sonas he was the one who did all the driving. I didn't drive then.

SpinningFloppa · 16/03/2023 20:33

Probably realised she would get more through cms.

FUSoftPlay · 16/03/2023 20:34

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 13:23

Because he will be paying twice. CMS starts from the day the case is open. Don't pay a penny until the payment plan is confirmed.

Show quote history

Yes from bitter experience it’s very easy to end up paying the same money twice, or thrice. CMS only class payments made under duress as CMS payments. Payments made freely to the same (or greater) value than CMS are seen as voluntary and paying parents still considered in arrears - or not having paid since the CMS claim started…

FUSoftPlay · 16/03/2023 20:35

AviMav · 16/03/2023 20:28

Had there been a dispute OP because the majority of mothers are not just going to call CMS for no reason are they??

It could be that the child's father is not paying enough and she wants to be aware of his earnings as you get a yearly review. Mum has not "shot herself in the foot".

I too reported DS dad to CMS (he paid on time always) however there's no bloody wonder.... he was short changing me!! As his earnings increased. CMS is better long term...

Not for my DH’s ex.. he warned her he was paying about £200 pcm too much and she smirked “we’ll see” well she did see and somehow it was his fault that the calculations didn’t go in her favour.

OurCrazyHouseIsFullOfLove · 16/03/2023 20:40

Yes agreed he may have been underpaying?

Dh originally paid his ex a private amount. One day during a disagreement on a weekends change when he was in hospital he asked to swap weekends. She said no, and fuck you and ill also take you to cms. He used to have a 2nd job self employed , but he'd given it up.

We put in a text of, feel free to go to cms however the figure will be much less than our current agreement. As im no longer doing the 2nd job.
Her reply, don't try and pull the wool over my eyes, you're hiding work or something I just know it, you haven't given up that job, that's why u didn't have dc the weekend ( he was in hospital) so im going to cms.
And you'll pay what they say to the penny no more no less i want this all above board.

Her maintenance halved!

He had never defaulted ever on a payment or anything and we had and still do have all the proof of payments, texts, emails everything

AviMav · 16/03/2023 20:41

@FUSoftPlay fair enough. Saves arguing tbh I would rather use CMS I know they are not the best but still.

Undertheoldlindentree · 16/03/2023 20:50

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 20:11

The default is Direct Pay. Collect and Pay is only used if the paying parent misses a payment.

Show quote history

Sorry, I typed those the wrong way round -thanks for pointing this out @t@taxpayer1 I still think it's important to consider that resident parents aren't doing anything wrong to formalise payments through a proper assessment. Informal arrangements can be very difficult to have counted as 'income' and getting everything on a proper footing can only benefit the child as well in the long term.

taxpayer1 · 16/03/2023 22:02

Undertheoldlindentree · 16/03/2023 20:50

Sorry, I typed those the wrong way round -thanks for pointing this out @t@taxpayer1 I still think it's important to consider that resident parents aren't doing anything wrong to formalise payments through a proper assessment. Informal arrangements can be very difficult to have counted as 'income' and getting everything on a proper footing can only benefit the child as well in the long term.

Show quote history

I agree. They are not doing anything wrong. Once CMS is involved, everything has to be formal or you can easily end up with arrears.

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