Has anyone been through anything similar and/or got any words of wisdom please?
My sons dad and I split up 12 years ago when our son was just a baby. We stayed friends for a while then both moved on, although his new partners and his other children often said my ex held a candle for me 😬
We’ve had our ups and downs and I’ve mainly stayed friendly to try and keep the peace as ex can be spiteful (and has been towards our son) if I try and back off and be ’aloof.’
Son and his dad had a big falling out last year, long story but basically dad does nothing while sons at his house, and doesn’t interact with our son unless I’m around, so it seems performative to try and impress me 🙄
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve sat my ex down and explained I would not ever get back with him. I’ve tried to be polite but firm and sometimes rude but it’s like in one ear and out the other. My son comes home and still says to me ‘mum, dads asking if you’re seeing anyone or if you would go on a date with him.’
I’ve gritted my teeth and agreed to dinners with him and our son as that’s a way of getting our son out and doing things with us in the past and our son asked for us both to be there, but I’ve stopped this as I worry if this has also given ex the wrong idea.
Sorry to ramble on, but I don’t know what else to do. It depresses me and makes me feel so helpless. He says things like ‘I will always love you and there’s nothing you can do to stop that.’ He stares at my body and I find it all so creepy. When I’ve been upset in the past he has also used that as an excuse to hug me or rub my legs which made me feel very uncomfortable.
Has anyone got any advice for me please 😔 I don’t want to do this for another several years as our boy is only 13. I haven’t dated anyone for a long time because part of me knows he will jeopardise that like he’s done in the past out of jealousy. I’ve stopped messaging him unless it’s to arrange pick up or drop offs of our son, I don’t even let him know things about our son anymore and tell him to ask our boy things instead of me.