Dad has health issue - my right to know for kids well-being?

[Jewwl89]

Hi there,

I've been through a very non amicable separation to get out of an awful relationship. Been to court too and dad has a no drinking undertaking. Whilst I have a home for me and kids, he has been living with family and in and out of jobs. He has kids two nights per week.

I've been made aware of kids being moved in the night and left in the care of someone else. I found out from my kids and he used the excuse it was health related. He's now claiming he can't work or pay any child maintenance due a health issue. Do I have any right to know what's going on? My concern is it's already resulted in kids being left in the care of someone else once without my knowledge, and I'm worried it may happen again. As a mum, shouldn't kids be with me if he's not well enough to care for them?

Any advice?

Unfortunately as the parent they are with he can make the decision who cares for them if he is unable yo.
Potentially you could get it written into a court order that you get offered "first refusal" but that wouldn't really count for anything if it was an emergency in the middle of the night and would likely have to go both ways.

As for his health concerns its up to him to share his medical history with you if he wants it's not something you'll be likely to force.

I understand your concerns, however think about how you would feel if he wanted you to tell him these things. What he does on his time is up to him. Just like what happens on your time is up to you. He doesn’t have to disclose his medical history either.
As long as kids are safe and cared for then that is important thing. I know I worry about my DC when he is with his dad because I am the one who picks up the pieces after contact.
The older the kids get the easier it gets.

Is the "someone else" a person familiar to the kids eg his parents ? He is allowed to have someone else look after the kids (without your permission) during his time. It's the same as you not having to ask him if your family, childminder or your children's friends parents can look after the kids. If having to drop them off elsewhere in the middle of the night is a regular occurrence, he'd hopefully take that into account when deciding contact.

You don't have a right to know what's wrong with him but if it's affects contact then he will hopefully discuss things so that the impact on the children Is minimized. For example if he can't drive because of the medication he takes, you might he able to take over drop off and collection.

With regards to maintenance, are you going through CMS? They will adjust your payments if his income falls.